Broken
by GottaLoveTheSun
Summary: Instead of Lissa and Rose running away. Rose was kidnapped for two years, when she is found and returns, she does her best to return to her normal life. Will she be able to? Will the guy who kidnapped her return to get her or find a new victim? *Trigger Warning*
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 –My return

I held my breath for as long as I could, maybe if they couldn't hear me, they wouldn't hurt me. There seemed to be multiple footsteps on the stairs, which seemed unusual. Unless _he_ had something special planned for me.

"Rosemarie?" called out a strange voice; the voice was not familiar to me in any way, so I stayed hidden in my corner of the room. The room was a basement with concrete walls and no windows, at least I think it was a basement, it was somewhere underground, and shackles were drilled into the wall at the back, under the stairs, where I was sitting. The rest of the room was quite big, though it certainly didn't have a homely feel to it, there was blood stains splattered against the wall which was only seem when a glimpse of light escaped in to the room and a variety of weapons lined up against the furthest wall, protected by a metal case. This was my 'home' for the past two years.

"Rose? Are you there?" said another voice, this voice I knew; though it was old it was a voice that was etched into my mind.

"Mo-?" my voice croaked, I hadn't had food or water for nearly 2 days, and speaking through my voice was like pushing it through a cheese grater. I slid my body against the concrete floor as much as my shackles could allow me; I needed to get to the light.

"Rose! It is you! Oh my God" called out my mom, I could see figures behind her as she ran to undo my cuffs.

"Hurry up and let's get her out of here" said a voice clearly not moving more forward than 10 feet from me. Then light started emerging in blazes into the room.

My mom cried a lot as she got me out of there, up the stairs and into a gurney, carrying me in her arms like she did when I was a child, I wanted to cry too but I ran out of tears a long time ago.

Cautiously, I woke up to a new environment. It felt so bright against my eyes, I immediately shut them again. I started to feel what was under me, it felt like a bed but with paper sheets, it felt like a hospital. It was the hospital, as I felt the needles and tubes stuck in my arm attached to a thousand different things. I opened my eyes again, this time I had a better time adjusting to the light, my room was empty of people and my eyes continued to wonder until it landed onto a cup of water. There was something stuck under it, it seemed to be a piece of paper with some writing on it.

 _Tell anyone about me and you and your Dragomir friend is dead._

"Lissa" I gasped at the memory of her. Desperately I drank all the water down and threw away the piece of paper when I heard someone come in; I suddenly coiled back into my bed with the covers up to my shoulders.

"Rose, it me, your mom" She said as she sat down next to me. I looked up at her and saw that Janine Hathaway looked the same but there were some parts of her that looked different. Her eyes and cheeks sunk into her skin, like she had not been sleeping for a long time, while her face showed a new layer of determination that I didn't remember about her.

"I know" I replied blankly

"How are you feeling? The doctor should be here any minute" She asked, holding her hands awkwardly in her lap.

"Decent"

"Do you know what happened?"

"Yeah, I was there for it" I said sarcastically. Before she could speak the doctor came in. She was talking to me about something but I was drifting away into my thoughts. I didn't want to speak with her, nor did I have to.

"- best for everyone if you went back to your school" She finished

"Wait, what? I need to go into school?" I'm not ready to face anyone yet

"Not necessarily into classes, I've spoken with Guardian Petrov and she has agreed to let you stay in between your dorm and with Dr. Olendzki until you are better". This was rude, there was no way my mom was going to let this happen

"Rose" my mother said to me "We have discussed this and we think it is the best option, there's always medical help when you need it and the school can provide someone you can talk to. You have been here for almost a month" she was talking extremely carefully to me like I was fragile or something.  
I just stared at her; she couldn't be serious

"Talk to someone?" I asked in a small voice

"Like a professional to talk about… what you've been through" I shook my head

"No" I breathed "I don't want to" I shook my head harder

"Of course, it is completely your choice as well Rose" interrupted the doctor "though we highly encourage it"

"No. I. Don't. Want. To" I said through my teeth. Talking about it will make me remember it and I don't want to remember it.

"Rose you are gonna have to tell us who-" my mom started sternly

"Why don't you discuss this with Guardian Petrov back at school?" the doctor ended the argument

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 **A/N: I haven't done a fanfiction in the first person for a long time so forgive my mistakes. This is really bad at the moment, i don't know why but the more i write this fic the worse my writing gets. I'm doing my best i promise**

 **Read and Review xx**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Ride back home

The ride to school was painfully long. I also had no clothes to wear so I had to put on some of my mom's old training stuff on but all she had was a vest top and leggings. I felt so exposed on my arms because they showed all my scars, burns, and bruises; I managed to swipe enough foundation from someone at the hospital to cover up the worst of it.

There were three guardians in the car and me, my mom had to fly back to Seattle to work which sucked because she used up all her holiday dates trying to locate me. I kept close to the car door and made sure that no one talked to me, I didn't want to talk to anyone especially if they're gonna ask me about _him._

"It's Rose right?" said the guardian hesitantly, the one sitting in the back next to me. He had dark brown hair which was nearly shoulder length and a fairly faint Russian accent

"Yeah" I said fairly confidently, I didn't want anyone thinking I was frail

"Are you cold?" he asked, gesturing to the two blankets I had over my arms, I mainly had it to cover my scars more than to keep me warm.

"No, I'm fine Guardian…" I drifted off, pulling the blankets closer to me.

"Guardian Dimitri Belikov" he said assertively "Are you sure? We can always turn the heating up"

"I'm fine!" I said a little too loudly and I saw him back off slightly, I cleared my throat "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout". The guardians in the front didn't react much.

"It's okay, I was pushing you about it, don't worry" he said apologetically

"No it's just" I dropped my voice so the front guardians couldn't hear "I don't have sleeves on this top and I ran out of foundation". He just looked confused. Sighing, I dropped the blankets and saw his eyes widened with shock as he scanned his eyes over my arms and then looked away as if it was wrong. "Ugly, aren't they?"

"Here" He said taking off his coat "Wear this"

"Really…?" I asked and he just nodded. I quickly took it like he was going to change his mind.

"Thanks" I mumbled.

Getting to school made my heart sink, it brought back so many good memories and I felt like I was 15 again and that the last two years just never happened. I just wanted to keep that feeling for as long as I could.

"Do I have to get out the car?" I murmured, leaning my head against the window

I walked straight up to my dorm as soon as I got into school, lucky for me it was lesson time so no one was around when I got in. Guardian Belikov gave me a scheduled meeting with the Headmistress and Guardian Petrov and sent me on my way.

Entering my dorm room was a new experience, the white walls and floor was the same but it felt… bare. There were a couple of clothes in the middle of the bed that I figured were some donated stuff that was just dumped in my room. I hated it, feeling like a stranger in my own room. Angrily, I grabbed the blankets and pillows and set them up under the desk. I laid down under the desk and curled myself up and just cried.

I cried for what _he_ had done to me, I cried for missing the two years of my life, and I cried for what _he_ was going to do to me.

I hated feeling weak and I especially hated crying.

Why me?

Why did this have to happen to me?

 _Be strong Rose_ I told to myself _You can do this, you can face everyone because that's how strong you are_

 _God, even my motivational speeches sounds pathetic_

* * *

 **A/N: Oh my god guys your reviews are amazing and so nice, thank you so much. I have kept writing this for a while so I always have something to upload on a regular basis. THANK YOU SO MUCH xxx**

 **This is a quick chapter to introduce Belikov but the 3rd one is a little longer dw**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – Reuniting and first day of training

I woke up cuddled in my blankets; it felt like I was sleeping in a marshmallow compared to the stone hard floor that I was normally used to. I barely slept without waking up from nightmares through the night. Looking at the clock on the small table next to my actual bed it was nearly time to go to that meeting thing, so I decided to take a shower and redress in the some old top and trousers from the pile I was given.

It was still fairly early in the morning so no students were up yet, thank God. I walked up to Alberta's office and then I saw her.

Lissa.

Lissa was standing there as golden as she could get. Her mouth was open in happiness and shock while her eyes threatened with tears. She was the only person I wanted to be with. I ran into her arms and felt her tears soak my borrowed top

"I've missed you" she whispered in my ear

"I missed you too" I said hoarsely

She pulled back from her hug and she looked at me properly while I did the same to her. She had grown a lot more but still as elegant and sweet as always. I could feel her reactions as she saw the scars trailing all over my face, neck, and arms and she looked at me with a worried expression.

"Rose" she said quietly, she stuttered a little bit as if she was going to ask me something, I knew what she wanted to know. She traced her hand over the slice scars over my shoulder. "What happened to you Rose?" She asked quietly

"Everything" I whispered

Guardian Petrov stood behind us along with the Headmistress.

"Rosemarie" she said politely. I turned to face her "Would you mind if we talked about your current situation right now?"  
Hmm, would I rather be hanging out with my best friend or talking about the one thing that will drive me crazy?

"Sure" I said "but only if Lissa stays with me"

"Of course, please sit"

"Rose you have missed a lot of school and if you still want to I think it's possible for you to graduate with your peers next year"

"I do" I agreed "I still want to be Lissa's guardian"

"Okay then, we have private sessions before and after school as well as normal lessons but you should only start your normal lessons when you feel you are ready. For now, the private lessons will do"

"Private lessons?"

"Yes, it has been set up and taught by Guardian Belikov". That took me by surprise, could the school even afford a private tutor for me?

"Rose if it is okay with you, I would like to talk to you alone" Alberta Petrov continued

"Urm" I looked nervously at Lissa "okay, I guess"

I watched Lissa and she walked out, along with the Headmistress and one or two guardians who were in the room. I didn't notice before but guardian Belikov was one of those.

"Rose" said Guardian Petrov, redirecting my attention to her. "You… haven't said anything about who did this to you, I know it's too much but we need to know"

"I don't remember" I said bluntly

"At all?" She questioned suspiciously

"I was blindfolded for the majority of it" I said quietly, I couldn't let her know who it was.

"Can you not give us anything like a name you heard or a description?"

"How did you find me anyway?" I asked curiously

"An anonymous call for all I've heard, your mom was in charge of it so I don't really know much, but back to the-"

"Don't I have to go to a lesson now?" I interrupted

"If you really feel like you're up for it" She answered "Lissa has offered to take you shopping this weekend to get some new clothes by the way, and I have signed off on it"

"Okay" I said standing up "Is that all?"

"Yes, you may leave now"

I walked out and found Lissa waiting for me at end of the little hallway and smiled widely at me.

"Hey" she said, hugging me again "Do you want to go to breakfast or eat somewhere else?"

"I might as well go to breakfast, I have to face them sometime" I sighed.

Walking in to the food hall was the worst thing I could imagine. As soon as I stepped in the room dropped to a silence. Every single pair of eyes in the room stared at me. The food hall looked exactly how I remembered it; nothing in the school has really changed, except for the people.

"Come on, let's get something to eat" Lissa said

"Take a picture" shouted a voice mockingly "It'll last longer". The voice came from Mason Ashford from a table in the middle as he watched the room get back to eating and talking. I smiled at him as I walked into the line to get some food. I don't remember the last time I had hot, fresh food and so many choices for food. Lissa was standing next to me, telling me what was good and what was not as well as having 100's of eyes burning at the back of my neck. It was all too much.

"I'm not very hungry" I said, grabbing a single doughnut "I got a lesson to go to anyway". It was a half hearted excuse but I practically ran out there as I felt the guilt from Lissa. I pushed it back, I just wanted to be a normal dhampir who had went to lessons.

The training room was located at the south end of the school, near the classrooms but far enough for me to avoid people when I walk back to my dorm.

Guardian Belikov was inside setting up some mats in the centre of the room and saw me as he walked in.

"Hi" I greeted, standing uncomfortably at the entrance, wiping the crumb from my doughnut from my mouth.

"I thought today we'd get onto some stretches" he said

"What? Because I haven't any sort of exercise for two years?" I said sarcastically, walking towards him on the mat, he was tall, like _really_ tall

"Let get started on some arm stretches" Belikov stated, obviously he wasn't going to be one for small talk.

"So when did you move here" I asked, putting my arm over my head "I don't remember you last time I was here"

"I'm Princess Vasilisa's Guardian, they moved me here not that long ago" he replied

"Is that why they made you train me?"

"Actually, I volunteered" he said, that caught me by surprise.

"Oh, so do you think you can really fix me up by graduation?"

"From what I've heard, you are a hard worker; I don't see why you can't. Let's do some leg stretches now"

I moved to push down on my knee and I lunged as I felt a surge of pain shoot through my leg

"Ah!" I called out as I slipped forward falling on to my face "Great start" I hissed at myself

"Are you okay?" he said, hands on my shoulders to help me up. I flinched at his touch but I still let him help me up.

"Just don't" I said wiping down the dust of my trousers "Don't touch me"

"I'm sorry, I just thought you needed help-" he started

"Well I don't! Why does everyone treat me like a child?! I'm not!" I shouted. He looked a little hurt for a second but covered it up quickly.

"Shall we run some laps then?" he asked, I just nodded, I didn't want feel bad about what I said.

On the track, Dimitri was clearly much faster than me but he slowed down his pace to stick with me, I had to stop a lot of the times to breathe and he really didn't say much.

"I didn't mean to shout at you. Again" I said breathing heavily in the middle of the track, holding on to my sides, I could feel my scars under my ribs stretching against my breathing.

"It's okay, I've learnt not to take it personally by now" he replied standing next to me

"So you so have a sense of humour" I said laughing through my breaths

"It was never proven that I didn't"

"I don't think I can run anymore" I said, clutching harder at my sides, we've done at least 6 maybe 7 laps

"That's okay, we'll just walk the rest of this one and then we're finished for today" he said.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm not sure if I'll do a relationship between Rose and Dimitri yet. I wanna focus on Rose more and the guy that kidnapped Rose, who I'm not sure is yet, any idea's?**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – How to be myself

"Rose!" Lissa called from behind me in the corridor, I looked back and saw Lissa with a couple of friends, some of them I noticed and some of them I didn't. I even noticed her holding hands with one I didn't notice, he had blue eyes and black hair I think it was an Ozera if I remember correctly. Mason was with her as well and Eddie Castile.

Mason came up to me and hugged me, squeezing tight on my now sore arms.

"Oh God, not so tight" I said, hugging him back

"It's so good to see you, Hathaway" he said, pulling me back, I could tell he was avoiding looking at my arms and neck. Though most of it was covered with foundation, you could still see the larger silver scars but the worst of it was covered up.

"Hey Rose, do you want to come over to my room later, we could do something together" Lissa asked, she was really the only person that I wanted to ever be with, plus she would have an extra stock of foundation that I could use for tomorrow.

"Sure, now?" I said

"I have class right now, but after that you can come over, I could give you a makeover" She said cheekily

"I can't wait" I replied unenthusiastically which made Eddie and Mason laugh.

"We can always save you Rose" Eddie laughed

"Nah, it's fine, I can always put up with one girl's night in" I teased, I looked back at the guy holding Lissa's hand "Who's this?"

"Rose, this is Christian, my boyfriend" She seemed a little awkward on that last word that it made me laugh

"Christian Ozera?" I asked

"Yeah" he replied simply

"Well, he hasn't passed the Rose Hathaway test, so he's not your boyfriend yet" I said, poking Christian's arm.

"Same old Rose" Mason laughed, going to punch me playfully in the arm. I wasn't expecting it and I flinched so badly that I hit the wall behind me, whatever face I had on scared the life out of them.

"Ro-" Mason started, but I couldn't process what was happening, I looked at each of their faces still against the wall, I could feel myself losing it slowly. Suddenly, I just walked off without another word to them and headed to my dorm.

It felt like my ears were almost muted to any sound there was around me, if Lissa called me back, I couldn't hear. I just kept walking and replaying what I did in my mind again and again and again.

I then bumped into someone.

"Rose?" asked someone, I looked up and it was Dimitri of all people "Are you okay?" I didn't realise that I'd been crying for a while now, I opened my mouth to speak but all that followed was more sobs.

"Come on, let's go find somewhere to sit down" he said as he was guiding me to a small seating area near the building only for staff. He pulled out the chair on a table as I sat down in it, sniffling from my tears. He then brought some hot chocolates to the table, one for me and one for him. I politely took and started sipping on it, feeling it scorching on my tongue, nothing I wasn't used to.

"Thank you" I said after a long time of silence

"It seemed like you needed it" replied Dimitri drinking his own hot chocolate. I played with the handle of the cup

"I wanted to come back here and I wanted everything to be normal. But I can't even be the same with my friends without having a panic attack" I said, tears still streaming down my face.

"You've been through something… difficult" Dimitri stuttered

"That's a little bit of an understatement" I murmured

"Your friends have changed in the last two years as well as you. You shouldn't have too many expectations" he said wisely

"When I was down there" I started "All I had was memories to keep me going, memories of my mother, no matter how much I seemed to hate her, Lissa, and the rest of my friends"

"Maybe you're trying too hard to be the old Rose; you haven't learnt to be yourself again"

"You should consider becoming a therapist, you seem to be very good at it" I laughed but maybe he had a point. I sighed "I haven't exactly been around people for a long time, I hear it can be hard to warm up to people"

"You'll get there" he said

"Whatever you say Comrade" I said finishing my hot chocolate.

It was around now when Lissa finished her classes along with her extracurricular stuff, well she did she probably changed from then. I knocked on her door a couple of times and waited. I didn't like the stares I got from people when I was walking across the campus, I even gave them evil glares to make them stop whispering about me, they weren't as subtle as they think they were.

She opened the door after a couple of minutes. Lissa was there with wet hair and her casual clothes on.

"Rose!" She smiled suddenly "I didn't think you were coming! Come in!" she said as she opened the door wider and I walked in. I saw her makeup and hair stuff set up across her desk and mirror.

"Wow, you have a lot of makeup" I said, remembering how excited she got when she got her first piece of makeup at age 12. I internally giggled at how ridiculously happy she got.

"Sit down, I want to get started on you" she said, pulling out a chair for me to go sit on. She pulled out some makeup wipes to take off my old layers of foundation. I held her arm when she brought the wipe to my face

"Promise me you won't react" I whispered looking into her jade green eyes. She looked at me silently as she slowly wiped off my makeup. Her eyes widened as she revealed more and more of my face.

"Rose" she whispered a single tear falling down her cheek "What happened?"

"Which ones are you talking about? There's a lot" I said

"Here" she said lightly touching the burns on my cheek.

"He liked to see what made me scream the most and what part of my body gave me the worst pain" I said in a monotone voice "Those are cigarette burns, they didn't hurt as much as the knives"

"Oh Rose!" She exclaimed, she sat onto the floor with her hands in her face "I had no idea it was this bad"

"Lissa" I said realising what I just said to her "I didn't mean to say that I'm sorry please don't cry"

"You went through all that and you still worry about if I cry or not" She said lifting her head up, looking at me "Did you ever, you know, do the thing where you look through my eyes?"

"I did, a lot at first but after a while I never had the energy to do so, hence why I didn't know about Christian" I chuckled slightly

"Oh right" she smiled a little bit "I'm sorry about earlier by the way with Mason, he feels really bad"

"I had no idea I'd freak out that much, it isn't his fault" I said, trying to get her up off the floor "So, are you going to get started on my makeover or not". She giggled

"I was born ready"

After a couple of hours Lissa revealed me in the mirror, I looked normal. She managed to cover up all of my scars with a hell of a lot of different brands of makeup. She even gave me a couple of bottles until she buys me more in the weekend. Then we went to get dinner together.

Dinner definitely went a lot better than breakfast, I got the same thing as Lissa did and we sat on a table with her boyfriend, Mason, Eddie and one or two more people that I didn't recognise. It felt like everything was back to normal, almost. We were chatting, making jokes, laughing just like we used to.

"Hey Rose, about earlier" Mason started

"Forget it" I said "I already have"

He seemed to drop it straight after I said that.

* * *

 **A/N: I seem to be writing a lot of 'zen' talks between Dimitri and Rose - there will surely be more of those coming x**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 – Sleepovers can go wrong too

I barely slept the night, I found myself waking up screaming and hitting my head on to the desk quite a lot. I thought it would be a good time to try sleeping on the bed from tomorrow.

First thing I did when I got up was to shower then get change in some workout clothes so I could get to my lesson. I got in and Dimitri was setting up the mats the same as last time just closer together.

"Stretches then running again" He said, pulling in the last mat. I sighed

"How many laps do I need to run before we get to actual training" I asked

"You managed six yesterday which was pretty impressive but I'm aiming for 15" he replied

"15?!" I exclaimed "That will take forever"

"Well, we better get started" he chuckled

It felt like we were running for ages and my legs were dying. They started to ache so much at one point I had to sit down in the middle of the track.

"Are. We. Done. Yet?" I asked in between breaths, lying on the ground

"We can be, but that means we have to run more laps tomorrow until we reach your target" Dimitri said, coming to a stop.

"How many have we done?" I asked, looking up into the sunset

"This is your tenth one, which means it was three more than yesterday"

"My body kills" I said dramatically, covering my hands over my eyes "Let me die here, in this spot". I'm nearly certain I heard Dimitri sigh at me.

"Finish two by either walking or running and then we'll call it to rest" He said, reaching out a hand to help me up, I peeked at him through my hands and dragged myself up with his hand. I started to walk around the track but I was slightly limping from the over exercise.

"About yesterday" I cleared my throat "Thanks, you didn't have to help me but you did so… yeah" I lingered at the pause for way too long

"I wasn't going to leave you crying in the middle of the campus, I'm not that cold hearted" that made me laugh. "Plus I expect to get paid extra for my therapy sessions"

"Well, then-" I was stopped by a yawn

"Didn't you get a full night's sleep last night?" questioned Dimitri

"I can't" I replied bluntly

"Why not?"

"Sleeping on my own is hard enough let alone sleeping a full night"

"Can't you stay with Princess Vasilisa; she is your friend, isn't she?"

"Firstly, her name is Lissa, trust me she prefers it that way. Secondly, the school doesn't exactly allow sleepovers very much and I highly doubt I would get permission from the dorm matron to do so; she hates me"

"I'm sure if you get Dr Olendzki signed off on it then you would be allowed" he replied

"Really? Would that work?"

"I don't think how it couldn't"

Both of us went and pleaded my case to Dr Olendzki and she didn't even object nor did the dorm matron, which was really good. Plus, it meant that I got to spend time with Lissa because we had lots and lots of catching up to do. I knocked on the door of Lissa's dorm with a pillow and a blanket in one arm and a bag of clothes in the other.

"Isn't this great?" Lissa said, opening the door of her room "We get to be roommates!"

"What happened to your old roommate" I laughed stepping inside "I don't think she really appreciated getting kicked out"

"She's fine with it, she got to move in with one of her friends" Lissa said, taking my bag and looking down at it curiously "Where's the rest of your clothes?"

"I don't have any more clothes than that, I threw out all the ones that didn't fit me" I shrugged

"Well, it's good that I have enough money to buy you a new wardrobe" she put down the bag of clothes in the now empty cupboard next to my bed.

"Not sure if I'm excited or terrified for what you have in store for me" I laughed

"Ha ha very funny, now it's late, we should really get into bed now, you can borrow some of my pyjamas if you want to" She turned to give a second look at what I was currently wearing "I mean you have to if you want to stay in this room"

I changed into one of Lissa's larger t-shirt and some shorts that fitted me nicely since Lissa was at least a few sizes smaller than me. It was comforting to have her company, we just talked about meaningless thing for hours on end and it felt great. We talked about Christian, school, friends, and even homework at one point.

"Christian sounds like a nice guy" I said, half asleep

"He is" said Lissa, equally as tired "I really like him"

Then I just drifted off to sleep

 _The darkness in the room filled like a poisonous gas, I was trying to hold on to the remaining of the light like it was the only source of oxygen. I tried to move but my body was stuck in restraints, my hands and legs were surrounded my metal while an plastic strap around my stomach._

" _Rosey Posey, have you been bad" said a voice, said him. I whipped my head around as far as I could to see the figure I could never forget._

" _Please, let me go" I said, my voice as clear as it could be_

" _Ah but Rose, do you know what happens to bad girls who get away and tell on me" He said, I could feel his breath on my neck though I couldn't see his face._

" _I'm sorry!" I cried "I won't say anything! Please!" I could feel the tears streaming down my face "Let_ _me out of here!"_

"Rose!" said another voice, one that took me out of my dream "Rose, please wake up" the voice called out.

I snapped out of it and sat up, breathing heavily and saw Lissa wide eyed and staring at me.

"Jesus, Rose, are you okay?" she asked

"What?" I asked looking around to the unfamiliar room "What happened?"

"You started screaming" she replied "You wouldn't wake up so I had to call the dorm matron who called a couple of… other people" I jumped out of the bed to see a couple of people standing behind her. I could see them since it was light outside and saw the dorm matron, Dr. Olendzki and Dimitri of all people looking as concerned as Lissa was.

"I'm okay" I announced "It was nothing, I'm fine and you can all go now"

"Rose" started Dr Olendzki "This isn't normal and you are not fine. I think if you come with me we can have a talk and help you through this"

"I said I'm fine!" I yelled "I don't need your help!"

"Calm down Rose" said Dimitri this time "I think it will be best if you-"

"Oh what do you know?!" I started yelling at him now "You're just some foreign help the school shipped in, you don't know anything!" I started picking up some stuff from the closet

"What are you doing?" asked Lissa, coming by my side "We're just trying to help"

"I don't need your help!" I hissed at her, I knew it was wrong to say that to her as soon as I said it but I wasn't going to apologise. "I'm going back to my room" I said louder so everyone in the room could hear. I went to the door when Dr. Olendzki tried to stop me.

"Rose" she said "I don't think this is a good idea"

"Let her go" said Dimitri, as I watched Dr. Olendzki moved out the way and I stormed out of the room.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for reading, hoped you liked it :)**

 **Some of you guys had really nice ideas about who ** _he**_ could be so thank you for that, it kinda gave me an idea.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – Confessions and courage (a lot of it)

There was a place that I loved to go to when I was here before everything happened. It was a small patch of grass with an old bench onto it. Not many people knew about it because it was really hidden from view which made it a perfect hiding place. I hopped up on to the bench and just let the sun heat on my skin. It felt peaceful against the silence of the outside. And the best thing about it was that no one could disturb me. I was there for at least a couple of hours and the more time went by the worse I felt about what I had said to everyone. Maybe they were just trying to help and I was the one being stubborn, but to be fair they were being pushy about it, I find that can be a little intimidating.

"Someone's using their hiding spot again" said Mason, peering around the corner, I opened my eyes and I realised that the sun has nearly gone down.

"Hi" I said and watched him come forward and sit next to me on the bench

"I see that you are having a pyjama party for one, didn't Lissa's place work out for you?" He asked

"I guess you could say that, it was cramping my style"

"Ah, but Hathaway that requires you to have any style to begin with" Mason joked as he handed me a doughnut from his bag

"How long has that been in your bag Mason, I don't think it's very hygienic" but I took the doughnut anyway

"It was in a box, relax. Now" He got more comfortable in his bench "Tell me what happened"

"What makes you think something has happened? I might have just come in for a little fresh air". Mason rolled his eyes

"We both know that's not true, Rose, what wrong?"

"I don't know, asking what's not wrong would be an easier question" I laughed nervously "I can't do anything anymore. I seem to be lashing out at everyone every day, I can barely keep up with my training and I won't ever be ready to go back into classes. I hear people talking about me, you know, it's really annoying the way people just stare at me and my scars makes me want to break down but punch them in the face at the same time. I can't do anything right"

"Why do you keep getting angry at people?"

"They think I'm fragile like there's something wrong with my brain. But I'm not! I'm not something that can be broken so easily" I dropped my voice low "I'm already broken"

"You are not broken Rose, you are injured. And from what I've learnt from getting injured it takes a lot of time and rest to get better and sometimes those injuries leave scars which can either be something to be ashamed of or something to show that you've been through something and have overcome it" said Mason

"Jesus, Mason, that was scarily helpful" I said, my mouth full of doughnuts

"I do pay attention in class sometimes". I faked gasped

"You don't naturally get all that wisdom?" I said dramatically but then when back into a normal tone "You have a point though; I need to get better, even if I do need professional help, plus it is difficult wearing makeup on my arms, legs, _and_ face everyday" I sighed "I have a lesson to go now"

"Yeah, you should get going then, I'll see you at lunch?" Mason asked standing up to go

"Yeah" I said getting up and hugging him, "I'll see you"

Deciding to actually go to Dimitri's lesson I went and got changed then headed down to the training room to see Dimitri sitting down against the wall and reading a book rather than setting up the mats like he usually does.

"I didn't think you'd come today" he said, not lifting his head from his book.

"Me either" I said sitting against the wall opposite him. He looked up from his book "I nearly didn't"

"You're not wearing any makeup" he observed

"Nah, I find it's not helpful when you're sweating from running all day" I gave a small smile "I didn't mean what I said to you last night, I was angry"

"You didn't go back to your dorm" he stated

"Is that a statement or a question?" I raised my eyebrow "Look, I'm trying to apologise here"

"You can't keep getting angry at people, insult and shout at them and then say sorry as soon as you feel bad about it"

"I know and I'm working on that, I don't like feeling vulnerable and frail but everyone just keeps treating me like it"

"So lashing out at people makes you feel like you have the upper hand?"

"When I was down there" I took a deep breath

"Rose, you don't have to do this" he said standing up come sit next to me

"No" I said determined "I have to do this – now let me say it"

"Okay, sorry" he said "Continue"

"When I was down there, I felt like I was nothing, each day was worse than the last up to the point where it couldn't get any worse. I got so low I forgot who I was, I even attempted suicide at one point, but I didn't have enough time to do it. Each time that _he_ came back, he branded me with a slice" I gestured to my arms "And he talked down to me, like people do to me now, not in the same way obviously but it makes me feel like _he_ is right there all over again"

"Who is _he?"_ Dimitri asked

"I can't, no I can't" I started sobbing "I'm sorry but I can't" I kept repeating until I was shaking. Dimitri put one arm around me and handed me a tissue.

"It's okay; you don't have to tell me. It took you a lot of courage for you to tell me that, thank you" he said soothingly

"Thanks for the tissue" I said sniffing, once I calmed down I stood up "So are you going to train or what? I'm planning on hitting the 15 lap target today and I need to finish to before lunch so I can go to class" I smiled widely.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 – Who needs therapy when you have a Dimitri?

I made my way to the cafeteria for lunch and stopped at the entrance, realising that I really didn't want to go inside with a sleeveless top. Then, I felt someone put something soft over me, I turned around and saw it was Lissa putting a cardigan on me, I shrugged it on.

"Lissa I'm-" I started before I interrupted by her

"I know what you are going to say Rose and its ok, I don't want to be angry at you over a tiny thing" She smoothed down the cardigan over my shoulders "Now, let's go get lunch"

We walked together arm in arm towards the lunch line and it was the first actual time that I comfortably socialised with people around me.

"What up" said Mason, stealing one of my chips of my plate "I see you're not wearing any makeup today"

"Some crazy yet wild old boy told me I was so much better than that" I replied whacking the chip out of his hands

"I personally like to be considered a man rather than a boy" he said, grabbing another two chips from my plate

"Seriously? You have a whole plate of them of your own, idiot" I said, taking a couple from his plate. Before Mason could reply, Christian asked Rose a question.

"So, are you looking forward to Lissa's shopping trip tomorrow?" he asked, he hand one hand wrapped around Lissa's and the other on his plate.

"I guess, kinda worried about what she has in store for me" I replied as I watched Lissa look offended

"Excuse me, I'm buying you a whole new wardrobe, you should be nicer towards me" she said dramatically

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding" I reassured her

I slept back in Lissa's room that night after going to one of my classes, algebra, which went better than expected. I pretty much just talked to Eddie and Mason, who were also in that class, and a couple of other people I recognised even Jesse who pretty much got hotter in two years, as if that was possible. Tonight I didn't have any nightmares which I was thankful for because I didn't need Lissa worrying about me during our shopping trip.

Saturday morning, I woke up to an outfit already prepared for me by Lissa hanging in my wardrobe, she had already left and I went to go meet her at the car.

"Morning, sleepy head" Lissa greeted me as I walked towards her, she was also with a Christian, who she forgot to tell me, was also coming on this trip

"Hi Rose" said Christian, as he got into the black SUV.

"Quick change of plans, there's not enough space for all of us so we have to split cars" said Lissa regretfully

"How many people are coming?" I asked, wishing I had asked this before so I could've bailed

"Not many" she assured me "It is me, you, and Christian plus the Guardians assigned to me and an extra"

"Oh, ok" I said slightly upset "I'll go into the other car"

"Are you sure? I'm sure one of the guardians will let me swap-"

"Its fine Lissa, you go sit with your boyfriend, I'll be okay for an hour" I said, helping her get into the car and shut the door.

I went to go sit in the other SUV that had been parked behind Lissa's one, there was only one guardian who was driving but I still went to sit in the back seats mainly because I was pretty certain I would get told off if I tried to sit in the front. The first car already went but we were still waiting a little longer for another Guardian I presumed.

Suddenly, Dimitri came into the car. He was about to go sit in the front but changed his mind and came to sit in the back seat with me.

"I thought you would be in the other car with Lissa, since you're her guardian and all" I said as he put his seatbelt on and we started driving

"There wasn't enough space in that car, so we took two" he replied

"So are you excited about roaming around a shopping mall all day with a fashion obsessed Moroi" I teased

"I don't mind, it's sometimes a big crowd so it can be a little hard to do my job from a distance" I forgot about the crowds at shopping malls and since it was daytime it was going to be much worse.

"Big crowds" I took a deep breath "I hate them"

"It's not so bad considering its daytime, it was night I would be a little more worried" he shrugged it off

"Bad things can still happen in the day" I argued back

"It's true, less possible though" he pointed out

"I was taken in the daylight" I replied, which silenced him immediately. After a couple of minutes, it was so quiet you could cut the tension with a knife; maybe I shouldn't have played that card.

"Is that why you hate big crowds?" he asked abruptly

"Yeah, it didn't happen in a shopping mall, it was in an airport" I confessed

"What were you doing in an airport?"

"We were meant to go to Court, I don't remember why now, but something wasn't right with the plane so we had to stop at a human airport a couple of miles away from the Court. The plan was to wait for a car to come pick us all up in a few hours after we landed. So being my stupid self thought it was a good idea to go look around."

"What happened then?" he questioned enquiringly

"Urm, there's not a lot I can remember, I got caught by a crowd coming into the airport at one point and got pushed into a corner, like a tight space I think it was, and then there was someone saying something to me but the next minute I knew, I was in a dark room with a massive headache."

"You said 'us', who else was with you?"

"It was one or two guardians, Lissa, and I. Lissa was meant to be with me at the time so that's probably why she blames herself for it, I think she expected to, like, sense something wrong with me." I sighed "I don't know, but she seems to be doing well without me, she's already replaced my seat with 'Christian'" I mocked his name

"I don't think it's like that, she seemed extremely devastated about you when I first met her. I don't really know much about the Ozera boy either but I think he has helped her through all this" he explained

"Through what?" I scoffed "I was the one that was kidnapped, not her, I'm sorry it was so horrible for her to miss me and all but I don't think it should be an excuse"

"Maybe you should be telling her this, not me"

"No, I don't want to upset her" I said defensively "I just felt like that that's all." I decided to change the subject by reaching it to my bag and getting something out "By the way, thanks for the coat" I said, handing him the coat he lent me on the first day he met me "I got it washed for you"

"Thanks" he said, taking it and putting in the seat between us.

* * *

 **A/N: The next couple of chapters may seem pointless but I promise that it will focus on something soon, in a chapter that i've already written. So just wait for that**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 – Shopping trips (yay!)  


Lissa nearly went crazy in every shop, trying to convince me to let her buy me every single item of clothing she picked out. It was around lunch time in the human world which was coincidentally the busiest time in the mall.

By the time we sat down for lunch, we had nearly four full bags purely of clothes and shoes. I personally felt bad for Christian who was made to carry most of the bag for his girlfriend. We decided to get some lunch from a Lebanese restaurant which turned out to be pretty nice. Lissa, Christian and I got our own table while the rest of the guardians got a table close to us.

Lunch was enjoyable; I decided it was time to get to know Christian properly, which I did.

"So" I started, finishing chewing a piece of chicken my mouth "How long have you guys been actually dating?"

"Like five or six months?" Christian replied, wiping his fingers clean.

"You seemed like the person who would count every single day to be with someone as cool as Lissa" I said with a wide smile

"You saying I'm not cool?" Christian said in mock hurt

"Aw, you say that like it's the first time you heard that" I said pitifully, I put down my fork and standing up "Ok, I got to go to the bathroom, where is it?"

"Oh, I saw it on my way here" replied Lissa proudly "It is just around that corner"

"Okay, I will be back soon, one of you have to tell them" I said gesturing to the group of guardians eating as well.

I walked out of the food court and took a right towards one of the shops we went to. I think Lissa said it was around here, right? I tried to look for sign above but there wasn't one around, I just figured I took the wrong turn. Seeing someone who worked here, I walked up to them and they directed me to the opposite end of the mall.

Finally, I saw the doors to the girl's bathroom which was blocked by a large crowd of guys. They looked around the same age as me, maybe some of them were older but I couldn't really tell. In order to get to the toilet's I had to pass through to them. I took a deep breath before charging in through the boys

"Hey hot stuff" said one of the boys to me; I tried to ignore them and kept walking through

"Oh, look she's trying to pretend we're not here" laughed another boy

"Yo, girl" said the first one again, stepping in front of me so I couldn't get through

"Get out of my way" I hissed at them

"We have a feisty one here boys" said the second one as the rest of the guys started to turn around and watch me

"Come with me girl, I'll show you a good time" the boy said putting his hands on my shoulders, I flinched from his touch but he wouldn't stop.

"Get away from her" spoke a Russian accent as he barged through the boys to grab my hand, I let him lead me out of the crowd and through the entrance of the mall until we were outside. I was slightly blurry and couldn't focus on what was going on. My back hit against something and before I knew it my head was between my knees, breathing heavily.

"Hey Rose look at me" Dimitri said in a slight panicked voice "You're okay now, you're safe"

I could feel a panic attack coming really quickly and nearly started crying but I looked up at him.

"How do you always end up see me crying?" I said as I could feel my cheeks being watered by my tears.

"Bad timing, I guess" he said, searching for a tissue in his pocket and sighed "I don't have a tissue I'm sorry" I then took one out of my pocket

"I come prepared" I said, wiping the tears from my face

"Do you want to stand up now?" he asked, offering a hand which I took and wiped the dirt off the back of my trousers.

"I guess we better get back to the happy little shoppers" I chuckled

"Would you rather go sit in the car and wait for them?"

"Is that even an option around Lissa?" I asked

"Come on, let's go, I will give one of the other guardians a phone call to come back when Vasilisa has finished" he said as he started to walk towards the car park and I followed behind. We reached the SUV and he surprisingly had the car keys on him and let me in into the backseat of the car. Once I got in I laid my head back and closed my eyes.

"I finally signed up to go see a professional therapist" I informed Dimitri

"Oh really? And I thought I was getting paid for my wonderful advice" Dimitri chuckled, pulling out the same book from yesterday.

"Its good advice I'll give you that" I said, laying back again "Any more of those to stop these panic attacks?"

"It's not something that you can stop, at least not easily" He said putting down the book "Whenever you're in a… difficult situation just make sure you're with someone, someone you trust"

"I trust _you_ " I said rather hastily and internally cursed myself for sounding so desperate

"Trust me enough to tell me who did this to you?"

"You're pushing your luck" I pointed out, he turned around to properly face me

"Why won't you tell anyone, Roza?" he said, using his Russian nickname for me "They're not going to hurt you anymore"

"You don't know that" I breathed

"Neither do you" his face not that far from mine but I pulled back and sighed and watched Dimitri awkwardly go back into his reading position.

"As long as _he_ is alive he is always hurting me"

* * *

 **A/N: This chapter is basically a Rose/Dimitri tease plus a public panic attack. I promise there are less therapy sessions in future chapters  
**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 – Fighting dummies and doctors

Lissa wasn't all that mad about me leaving early, at least that's what I felt through the bond, she was just more concerned about me if anything and though she didn't get through all the shops she wanted to, we both agreed that $400 worth of clothes was enough for one trip.

"I just wish you would've told me Rose" Lissa said, hanging up my new clothes while I sat on the bed going through her old magazines "I just feel useless around you"

"Oh, you can never be useless around me, just look at you now" I joked gesturing to the amount of clothes she was putting in my wardrobe.

"I'm being serious here, I want to help you too" she pouted at me

"I know you do, but I don't need a team of people holding me up, I'm doing just fine with 'professional help'" I said in air quotes

"Here" Lissa said handing me cute blue workout leggings and a navy tank top "Wear these for your training today" I took the clothes from her and got in to the bathroom to get changed, I also decided to do my hair too. Most of my hair was pretty dead due to the lack of taking care of it over the past two years so I decided to do a quick plait.

"Yes!" Lissa said excitedly "I knew that shop was a good one, you look hot!"

"Thank you" I said striking a pose, "Alright, I got to go so I will see you later"

"See you later, don't forget your room key" she said giving me a quick hug before going in to the bathroom with a towel.

The training room still stunk of stale sweat and I walked into Dimitri pushing the mats into a large square in the middle of the room.

"Morning" I said in a happy tone, walking on to the maps "What are we doing today?"

"Techniques mostly, grab some gloves from that bench over there" he said, nodding towards the bench on the other side of the room. I did so and went back to the middle where Dimitri was in a fighting stance. I got into the same position as him and we started.

It seemed like it was forever until we actually properly started and it began with me throwing a punch which he easily blocked, of course.

When he threw the punch it was a completely different story, I saw it coming clearly enough for me to block it but it was like when Mason did the same thing in the campus corridor and I almost freaked out, I leapt back on to the concrete floor and hit my back on the floor and forced myself to get up on to my side

"Shit" I swore, rubbing my spine

"Are you alright?" he held out a hand which I didn't take and got up all on my own.

"I don't think this is going to work" I grumbled while Dimitri sighed

"Me either" but then he brightened a little "I have an idea, but I'm not sure if it will work"

He got back on to the mat but this time instead of standing opposite me he stood next to me, exactly copying my stance but then put his hand on his face to think. He mumbled something that sounded something like 'one minute' before charging off to the back to get something and came back out with a dummy.

"Let's try this" he said, placing it in front of me

"You want me to hit it?" I asked very confused

"I think we have to work up to defending but for now, you copy what I'm doing but on to this dummy, it should work the same" he explained. He kicked the air to about chest height of the dummy with a lot force and I did the exact same thing, getting to only waist height but with the same amount of force.

"Good" Dimitri said, and he present several moves after that in which I did the same to the dummy. We continued this for the rest of the lesson and I picked up a lot in that one hour and that meant his idea worked really well. In the end of the lesson, I was sweating through my new outfit and panting a lot.

"I think that works" I said through my panting, gulping down a whole bottle of water.

"So do I" he said smiling, wiping his face with a towel. God, even his smile is hot.

"Urgh, is that the right time?" I asked looking at the clock on the wall, "I'm late, bye" I called back as I ran through the door. I had just enough time to change into some jeans and go to my therapy session. I hated the idea of someone prodding in my head but from the past couple of weeks I thought I would give it a try.

I walked in to the office to a middle age Moroi with large framed glasses sitting in a chair opposite another one.

"I'm Dr. Harrison, welcome, please take a seat" she said, and I obliged. "I heard that you liked to be called Rose, is that okay for me to call you that?" and all I did to respond to that is nod in which she wrote something down.

"So, what do we talk about in these things?" I asked, obviously looked awkward

"What do _you_ want to talk about?" she asked in return, I think that's going to get old very quickly

"I will talk about whatever gets me better the quickest" I said shrugging

"The mind is a complex place; it might take a little more than shooting straight through the situation to help you overcome it" she clarified "But if you feel like talking about something specific if going to help you, then go right ahead"

"Fine" I said bluntly "We'll start where you want to start"

"Shall we start with your parents and friends?" she suggested

"Well, I don't know who my father is, he's a Moroi. My mother, on the other hand, I do know, she's a respectable guardian. I have a couple of friends but I haven't been in touch with them the same since the thing" I said

"How so?"

"Lissa, for starters, is my best friends and she is really good to me and she always has been. She even spent a ton of money for my new wardrobe not that long ago. When I came back I realised that I don't deserve her as a friend when all I am is rude to her and that I'm pretty…replaceable"

"What do you mean that you're replaceable?"

"I was lost and all she did was get a new boyfriend, so am I not allowed being able like that? I feel totally bad for feeling like that because she doesn't deserve this hassle but" I sighed in frustration "I don't know"

"You considered yourself as lost?"

"No!" I exclaimed "I meant kidnapped"

"Then why did you say lost?"

"I hate the word kidnapped, it sounds like I need constant saving and the word lost…really defines me, I think"

"How does it?" she asked, this time I focused really hard on my answer

"I feel lost"

* * *

 **A/N: Excuse my word vomit at the end, I don't really know what happened there but I kept it in anyway** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	10. Chapter 10

**/\\\ A/N: *READ THIS NOTE BEFORE THE CHAPTER* - This chapter contains a scene with lot more detail about abuse than what I usually write and if you don't like it or are triggered by anything within this then don't worry you aren't missing too much just skip to the page break about ¾ down past the italics because that's where the important part of the story is. /\\\**

* * *

Chapter 10 – Flashbacks and Nightmares

 _It was the first time I had slept the night in a week, the floor was hard and uncomfortable but I needed to gain energy if I wanted to ever get out of here._  
 _By now, I gained enough trust from_ him _to limit myself to one cuffed ankle and one cuffed wrist, it wouldn't do much good for now but I think I could be able to get myself out if I had the strength to do so. I wasn't entirely sure about the plan that I created in my head because it might not actually work._

 _As soon as I heard the door at the top of the stairs opening, I crouched myself into the tight corner. It's almost as if I thought I kept myself hidden enough he wouldn't do anything to me._

 _"Rosemarie…" his voice lingered in the dark as he walked down the stairs "Did we sleep well?"_

 _I couldn't see him exactly apart from the odd glimpse of his face that I've captured over the past few months. But I've heard every movement, every footstep, and every sound that he's made. I could now hear him walking towards the back cupboard which held all his weapons under a lock and key. The lock turned and opened and I could hear him take something out, though I was afraid to see what it was._

 _"Why don't you come join me on this chair, Rosemarie?" he said in his all evil voice_

 _"N...o" was all I could shakily come out with_

 _"You have to go and ruin all the fun for me" his voice became closer and closer to me until he was right in front of my corner._

 _He grabbed the chains from the wall which made the metal rub more against my already raw skin. Unlocking it from the wall, he grabbed the chain holding my ankle and a clump of my hair before dragging me to the chair set out in the middle. At first when he did this it hurt enough to make me cry out but now it didn't._

 _He threw me back on to the chair that made my spine ache. I dared not to open my eyes in case I saw what he had planned for me today, the pain was worse when I saw it. His hands stroked down my arms until he reached the wrist and then he clamped the handcuffs that were on the chair on to me. I gasped at the cold metal touch._

 _"Oh, Rose, it shouldn't have gone this far" he started, piercing a piece of metal on my arm "But it did and I can't go back now, you understand right?"_

 _I turned by head away from his voice; I could feel his breath of my cheek._

 _"Look at me when I'm talking Rosemarie" he put the knife under my chin and put enough pressure to make the blood trickle down my neck. "Look at me!" he yelled this time, I whimpered a little before turning my face to him, still keeping my eyes closed._

 _"I'm not offended that you're not looking at me, you know, I prefer that you keep what I have planned for you a surprise. I put in the effort for it anyway"_

 _Suddenly I heard something sizzle and tightened my eyes; I didn't want it to be burning today._

 _Please no_

 _Please no_

 _Please no_

 _Please no_

 _I held my breath waiting for the burning sensation to start for a long while but it hadn't yet._

 _"Oh Rosemarie" he chuckled "You make me laugh at how you prepare yourself for this"_

 _His hand flinched and something was pressed against the skin of my leg. It was burning hot and the pain burst throughout my whole leg. I tried to pull myself away from it but he brought it closer, making it hurt more._

 _I wanted to scream out to tell him to get it off but I choked up in the middle of doing so leaving me with a strained grunt coming from my lips. He lifted up the tool from my leg but the pain of it remained._

 _Abruptly, something cold like ice was aligned with the injury and from the size of the ice pack the wound was pretty large. It still didn't stop my pulse from going abnormally fast or my skin getting clammy. I knew what was happening to me as soon as I started to shake, I was going through shock and I knew it but I couldn't help but feel confused by it._

 _"Ah, Rosemarie, it seems like you're in shock" he said, still holding the ice against my thigh "I thought you'd be a little better at receiving pain" he stopped, almost to think for a second "Maybe it's just burns rather than cuts that you're not used to"_

 _I could feel myself fading out, I needed to sleep it off but I refused my body to do that. I had to stay alert long enough to…_

 _"- thought he had the nerve to cross me like that" I pushed myself out of unconsciousness long enough to hear him talk a little longer_

 _"Looks like you're going to need your rest, tomorrow's a big day, I have invited a special guest" he said, putting locking up the weapons cupboard._

 _"Stop this" I whispered "Please"_

 _He turned around in surprise as if my talking shocked him, maybe it did._

 _"But Rosemarie, I'm having so much fun. If you hate this so much you have your precious Ibrahim to thank for-"_

* * *

I awoke and sat up in my bed so fast I could feel my brain bound against my skull. I managed to cut myself out of my nightmare for the first time, though it was never this long as my nightmares usually were.

Who's Ibrahim?

Is he connected my kidnapping?

I quickly got out a pen and paper and jotted down the name in case I would forget it in the morning. I needed to find out more about the name to see if it's important.

But first

I need more sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Just wanted to answer some questions that were in the reviews. I haven't had a chance to answer them before**

 ***** What happened to the bond **?* - It's still there, I just mostly forgotten about it for a while, you will see it sooner or later**

 ***** Is it going to be a Rose/Dimitri story **?* -I'm not sure yet, maybe or maybe not, I want to focus on Rose's story for now**

 **Thanks to the suggestions about the mysterious** _ **him**_ **by the way, they really helped.**

 **I realise how fast I'm going with this so I'm just taking it a little slower right now, enjoy**

* * *

Chapter 11 – Names, names, names

The first thing I did when I woke up was Google the name because, you know, as a teenager who is consumed in a technology based society it was my first move. I knew I wasn't going to get much from this but it was worth a try. I typed in the name in my, well Lissa's, laptop and the there wasn't much help; it says that the English translation is Abraham and that was pretty much it.

Who else could I go with this?

Did I even hear it properly? What if I was wrong?

' _No, Rose'_ I thought ' _You remember everything from that pretty damn well. You are mostly right about this; this is the key to finding him before he finds you'_

On that note, I had to check my school's email to see a couple of emails from my mother.

* _Rose, are you doing okay? Please email as soon as you settle in – Mom*_

 _*I'm in Prague at the moment, will try and visit as soon as possible – Mom*_

 _*Please answer me Rose – Mom*_

I sighed deeply before reading the rest of the emails she had sent me, she worried way too much. I started writing out a reply email:

* _Mom,_

 _Been busy with training and classes, sorry couldn't get back to you sooner.  
Am doing fine, will fill you in about everything when you visit _

_-Rose *_

And send.

I raced down the stairs of the dormitories to meet Dimitri for our morning lessons. Maybe he might have some input into this name, though I probably shouldn't make it so obvious. I got in and he was setting up as usual, with the dummies and everything.

"Morning" he said, pulling a larger dummy out of the back "You sleep well?"

"Yeah, I guess, you?" I asked, trying to be polite for once

"Just finished a shift I've been awake for a while now"

"We doing dummy fighting today?" I asked, which made him laugh a bit

"Is that what you call your training?"

"We've been doing it for about 2 weeks now, are you even surprised I don't have a name for it?" I asked raising an eyebrow

"No, I guess not" he said, setting down the dummy on the mat

"I want to try it again" I just said bluntly, all he did was look confused at me which made me sigh "The actual fighting, not just the dummy work"

"Are you sure?"

I got into the middle of the mats and pushed away one of the dummies to give us both space to fight.

"Sure as ever" I said getting into my fighting position

"Okay, but if you want to stop, just say so" he said before hesitantly getting in to the same position in front of me.

We circled for a little while before I kicked at him and he side stepped it easily, he then threw a punch at me when I managed to block it and get him in the stomach. He showed a glimpse of being proud for just a second before getting back in fighting mode. This continued for a little while and I both managed to block and get in a lot of hits in.

At the end, by the time the lesson had finished, we were both grabbing out sweat towels to wipe down out faces.

"That was fun" I said, throwing away my towel

"You are improving a lot" he said putting away the equipment

"Yeah… I guess I am" I said smugly "And you know what, I might just go into class today"

Going to class was probably not the best idea, I'm pretty sure I got like 50 different bruises. It gave me a chance to hang out with Mason and Eddie more.

"Ow!" I said falling on my ass for the third time in five minutes "Jesus Mason, I don't remember you being this good" I rubbed the sore spot

"What can I say?" he said "I had time to catch up"

"Yeah catch up from my natural talent" I joked

"Plus now you got Belikov training to keep you up" Eddie said, finishing a hit to his partner.

"Yeah, it's slow progress though, I don't know if I can by finals" I complained

"That's bull Rosie and you know it" Mason said walking around in a fight circle with me.

"No, no" I said throwing a punch at him which he blocked "My name is not Rosie" which made Mason laugh

"Do you want me to call you by your full name then?" he said kicking me in the thigh

"Ah!" I said catching myself before I fully hit the ground "Rose is just fine, I've been going by it for over ten years I don't see why you should stop using now"

"Yeah, yeah" Mason said, I managed to kicked him in the stomach which made him fall to the ground

"Hell yeah!" I exclaimed "One point to Rose!"

"You know the score is like eight to one right?" Mason said, getting up off the floor "Come on, we're finished for today, let's go to lunch"

I didn't bother getting changed before lunch because I wasn't going to go to theory today, I don't think I can handle the wrath of Stan Alto for a while. He's like one of the toughest teachers out of the whole school, he doesn't take any bullshit and everyone knows that, I can't slack in his class like I do in all my other written ones.

"Hey" greeted Lissa, as I sat down in front of her with a bowl of macaroni cheese and immediately started to dig in "How was class, I see you're favoring that tank top"

"I wash it in between classes don't worry" I said dismissing her implication

"You mean I wash it for you" she narrowed her eyes at me "You got to start doing your own laundry from now on" and then I saw Christian coming from the corner of my eye

"Oh look here's your boyfriend to save me from this conversation" I said smiling at Christian

"Hello ladies" he said, sitting down, I looked at his plate of food before taking a cupcake when he went to kiss Lissa on the cheek "Hey!"

"What?" I said with my mouth full of the cupcake before he claimed it back

"She's messing with you" Lissa laughed "It's a good thing; it means that she's warming up to you"

"But does it have to involve sacrificing my cupcake?" he looked so done with me

"Yes. Yes it does" I said, throwing back the wrapper at him then he mumbled something that I couldn't hear. "I'm just kidding, here you can have my doughnut" I shoved it on his plate.

"Wow, sharing food as well? You're just rising on that friendship scale" Lissa said slightly surprised.

"Hey Ro-Ro" said Mason sitting down next to me

"What is this sudden obsession with these names?" I asked him, stealing a cupcake of his plate as well "Where were these cupcakes, damn, I didn't see any" I turned around to look back at the cafeteria.

"Rose is just so boring now" he said pulling out another cupcake from his pocket and starting to eat it "You need something to spice is up"

"You call me Rosemarie and I will slit your throat" I said him holding my fork to his face

"I have a few contenders, for example Ro-Ro"

"No" I shook my head and eating my pasta

"Rosie"

"I'm not five years old" I sighed

"I like that one though" he pouted "Rosey-posey" he sang the name. I flinched at the name though he didn't really notice it much. I couldn't focus much on what he was saying after but it felt like that nickname was echoing in my head.

"Rose" Lissa said, shaking my arm which brought my attention back to her "Are you okay?"

"Mm?" I looked at her and saw the usual worry etched in to her eyes "Yeah" I breathed out, I started to get out of my seat "I just need some air"

I don't think I even fully said that sentence; I just kind of kept walking away from the table until I reached the outside. I reached a bench and pulled up my legs so I could lean my chin on my knees.

"Rose?" I looked up and saw Lissa leaning over me "What happened?" she sat down next to me

"Nothing, I just needed some air"

"You left in kind of a hurry for someone who just needed 'some air'" she paused for a little bit before talking again "It was the name, wasn't it?"

"Yeah" I exhaled

"Did… _he_ used to say that?" she asked timidly

"Sometimes"

"What else did he call you?"

"Depends"

"Please Rose" she held my hand to which I didn't respond to "I need to know" she sniffed a bit. Was she crying? "I need to know what to say around you"

"Are you crying?"

"I don't mean to be" she wiped her face "Rose, please tell me, I want to help you and I'm trying" I sighed

"It was mostly Rosemarie but sometimes it was worse depending on what I would do" I replied

"What do you mean?" she questioned

"Lissa I don't think you can handle hearing this, maybe this isn't such a good idea" I looked at her and she looked like she was going to start sobbing again

"O-kay" she said slowly "It's okay, don't worry" she held her hand on to head and I lent on her shoulder. We just sat there for a long time, staring at nothing but it felt so right. I felt like I was at home

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for reading!**

 **R &R!**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 – Too many people and not enough secrets

"So, Lissa came and talked to me yesterday evening" Dimitri said after finishing practise and walking out the training room with me

"Oh god, what did she say?" I groaned, drinking some water

"She is your friend Rose, I think she's really worried about you" he explained "She was talking about something that you were panicked about yesterday"

"It was nothing, barely anything; she's just worries about _everything_ " I emphasised

"If it was nothing, why don't you tell me about it?" he raised an eyebrow

"Fine" I gritted my teeth "Mason was messing about with my name and called me 'Rosy-Posy' and I didn't like it. That's it"

"But why did that make you panic?"

"I just didn't like it okay!" I said coming to a halt "I don't like the name and that shouldn't be a problem to anyone but me" he put his hands up in surrender "You're not Lissa's lapdog so you don't have to do what she says"

"I may have crossed a line, my apologies" Dimitri admitted "I shouldn't have asked"

"No, no" I said sitting on the nearby bench "It's fine" By then I expected Dimitri to leave me alone but instead he sat down next to me

"Talk to me Rose" he said seriously

" _He_ used to call me that and I just freaked about it and when Lissa confronted me about it, I just couldn't bring myself to tell her" I was expecting a reply from him but he kept quiet so I continued "Last time I told her something she broke down on me and if she can't handle it then it's better for us both to not tell her, okay? I never expected her to take it well but if she wants to be able to then she could at least be the stronger one when I'm fucked up" He still didn't say anything but he was probably waiting for me to tell him what was going on "With the names, she asked what else _he_ called me and I couldn't tell her"

"Would you tell me if I asked?" he said after a few seconds of silence

"He called me Rosemarie, Rosy-Posy, slut, bitch, and pretty much everything along the lines of whore" I said in a monotone voice like I did when I was talking to Lissa about this.

"Did he ever… hurt you in the wrong…" he really struggled to come up with the right way to ask it

"You mean did he rape me?" I asked bluntly while starting to well up, he cleared his throat

"Yes, that's what I meant" he said awkwardly

"It was close to happening a lot of times. But it only" my voice broke "it only occurred a couple of times"

"Rose" he said concerned "You really need to tell someone about who this guy is. He is out there…!" he anger faded as quickly as it came

"I can't" I said back

"You don't have to protect him, he can't hurt you here"

"It's not that I'm protecting him!" I said standing up "I barely know who he is myself, okay?" he looked at me with shock after I said that "but I know enough to follow up on it and I can do it myself. I don't need anyone's help", he stood up as well but in less angry manner than me

"If you won't tell anyone then let me help you" he continued once he saw me starting to object "I won' tell anybody as well, but I want to help you" I thought long and hard and what he was suggesting. What did he get out of helping me?

"I'll think about it" was all I said before walking away

I went back to class and then lunch but I couldn't stop thinking about Dimitri's offer. The advantage of it is that I will be able to find out more from the name but if he spills this out to anyone then I'm screwed. Will he screw me over? I've know him long enough but I don't know _of_ him enough to trust him. If I missed today's after school training I could have longer to think about this.

After dinner I went up to the room and checked my emails again in case my mom had emailed me yet. She hadn't which I kind of felt disappointed about since it means she's probably working and won't get back to me for a while. I ended up just chatting with Lissa for a long time since I didn't have any homework to do this evening.

"So Dimitri told me you want him to check up on me" I started after an in depth conversation about cupcakes with her. She's the kinda person you would argue the concept of cakes with.

"Are you going to be angry at me?" she started finishing writing something in her planner, probably her exam timetable then looked straight at me with some regret in her face.

"Yes and no" She sort of looked relieved at the no

"You won't talk to me" she said quietly, taking off her socks "If I can't help you in the way a best friend is supposed to then I want to make sure that you know you have someone to talk you. I thought since you were training with Guardian Belikov that you would trust him enough to talk to him"

"I do trust him and you are the greatest friend to me, probably more than I deserve" I sighed "I'm sorry I can't talk to you but that doesn't mean you need to set me up with another therapist" I eyed her and she just gave in with defending herself

"I'm sorry, I won't do it again. Goodnight" was the last thing she said before getting under her covers to sleep. Lissa pretty much slept immediately but I stayed wide awake thinking over this offer.

The next day was pretty much the same routine as me, which according to my therapist is a good thing because it will make me get better quicker or something. I don't really pay attention to what she says half the time because most of it is bullshit.

Before I walked into the training room, I stood outside for a couple for a couple of seconds to think. Was I making the right choice by doing this? I don't think I can change my mind if I ever back down from this.

He was sitting in his usual spot, waiting for me.

"You missed your after school training" he said bluntly, as he always did when I do something to remotely piss him off

"I had some thinking to do" I said back

"That's not an excuse Rose, you can't go missing your important lessons for something like that" he lectured "The agreement was to work all of these sessions if you wanted to graduate with the rest of your peers"

"I was thinking about the offer you made yesterday" I said, as if that was going to stop him from telling me off

"Oh?" he was caught off guard by that, though it was only yesterday so I don't see how he could've forgotten about it.

"Yeah, I've come to a decision"

"Well?" he crossed his arms "What is it?"

* * *

 **A/N: Read and Review :)**

 **I'm trying not to rush straight at this angle but be patient I'm getting there**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 - Stop Hiding Secrets from me  


 **Lissa POV**

Rose was being quite distant from me lately; she finally got in to a regular schedule of going back to her classes and her training. Which was a good thing, I wasn't denying that but she's never been this secretive from me, at all.

Even on Saturday when I invited her to a small party, well it was more like a gathering, for Christian's birthday, she said no and went to the library to do some 'homework'. Which was a rubbish excuse because she has never done homework on the weekend for years; she preferred to do something a lot more interesting.

I have to get to the bottom of this.

Deciding that confrontation was the best solution at this time, I walked up to Rose in the canteen with my plate of food. Luckily for me, she was earlier than everybody and the only time you will find her early is if there's food. I hadn't initiated the conversation yet because I wanted to actually look at her.

Over the past couple of weeks the haunted look on her face was starting to fade away, she was not flinching at everybody's movements and she looked almost at peace. No, not at peace it was more like she was _comfortable_ with being here.

"You didn't do the laundry yesterday" Rose said cheekily, shoving food into her mouth

"I did, I did _my_ laundry" I emphasised, I was no longer going to do her clothes from now on

"Fine" she sighed at me "I'll just do my own"

"Finally" I breathed out dramatically, which made her laugh a little

"Hilarious" she rolled her eyes

"Hey, you laughed at it!" I pointed out "So… Rose, what homework were you doing last Saturday?" I asked curiously

"Oh, you know, just some stuff I had to research for Alto's class" she said coolly, apparently she wasn't going to give this up easily

"Don't you normally ask Guardian Belikov for the answers?" I half joked

"Yeah" she paused for a moment. "But he said it was time to do my own work"

I opened up and looked at her aura for just a second, long enough to tell that she's lying to me. Stupidly, I remembered that she could feel everything I was feeling. God, I'm an idiot, she knows that I'm on to her and now she was just playing me like a fool in front of me.

"Let's cut straight to the point, Rose" I said bluntly

"What?" she asked innocently, batting her lashes slightly, it was a charm she used when she wanted something.

"Why didn't you come to Christian's birthday? Do you not like him?" I frowned, she didn't exactly cosy up to him at first but I thought they were getting along.

"No, it's nothing like that" she put her cutlery down and reached out to hold my hands "Lissa, I promise you it was just research I had to do"

"What research?" I prompted; I could sense that there was something that she wasn't telling me.

"Just a small thing" she said quickly "Look, I'll make it up to Christian somehow, I mean I still haven't given his present yet so I'll get him something extra special"

I opened my mouth to speak back but then I could feel a peck at my cheek.

"This conversation is not over" I muttered to her quickly before turning back to my boyfriend. Christian had finally gotten his food and sat down at the table. I mean I love him and all but he had terrible timing.

"Hi sweetie" I said in a nicer tone "How was class?"

"The usual" he said slightly tired "I mean it wore me out quite quick but nothing that I can't handle. But I do have some new stuff to show off to Aunt Tasha" he winked at me

His speciality was fire and he had been working extra hard, in class and out of class (though it's not permitted to use his powers outside of class), to focus on learning new tricks. He had been working with his aunt Tasha on occasional weekends when she would come and visit.

"Aw that's nice" I said quite proudly "When is she coming over?"

"This weekend or next weekend, she hasn't really decided yet" he said, reaching down to get his muffin but finding that it was missing "Hey! Where did my muffin go?!"

I looked up and saw Rose giggling with Eddie and Mason with her back turned to us.

"Rose, did you take his muffin again?" I let out a deep sigh; this was becoming a daily thing

" _I_ did not such thing" she said assertively then nudging her head towards Eddie, who had a really bad poker face on him.

"Every single day" Christian muttered under his breath, though he knew it was a joke, at least I had hoped he took it as a joke.

"Here" I reached out to Rose's plate and took her last doughnut "Take this"

"What?! I didn't take it! Why am I being punished?" she said exasperated

"You had like five" Mason elbowed her in the side and she pouted at him and looked back at me with the same face.

"Still not fair" she murmured, standing up with her plate and tray to put away

"So Mason" I said to get his attention, this was probably wrong to do but I had to get the information somehow "Rose said Guardian Alto gave really hard homework for you guys to research"

"Really?" he looked at me with a confused face "I don't remember getting that, do you Eddie" he turned to look at his best friend but didn't respond because Rose interrupted.

"Of course these idiots don't remember" she ruffled their heads "They haven't done homework in 3 years" and they both nodded in agreement.

Something was definitely going on, especially if she was lying about homework of all things. I mean, I will give her props for working it out smoothly for me but there was no way that she was going to hide this from me. I eyed her suspiciously.

I'm going to get to the bottom of this.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 – Is this a breakthrough?

 **(Back to) Rose POV**

Lissa was being overly suspicious about me; I could feel it through the bond. When she was not guessing where I had been in her head she was physically interrogating me about my whereabouts. I had a slip last week with the homework assignment excuse for theory though I didn't know she would actually pry about it with Mason and Eddie. She was over stepping her bounds.

But what was I to do? I couldn't tell her to back off or she would be even more curious about me, on the other hand I could let her in on it…

No, bad idea, she wouldn't be able to handle it, I'm sure of it. I already told Dimitri and that's one person too many.

I sneaked out of bed in the morning and took the time to take a shower before heading to training. Dimitri said he would look into the name that I had gotten but so far it had gotten us nowhere.

"Have you tried asking your mother about the name?" he asked one time just before I started my laps.

"Why would my mother be involved in all this?" I threw back, there was no way I was letting my mother know that I lied to her about not knowing

"It's worth a try" Dimitri shrugged "I mean, it's one of the only things you haven't tried for this lead"

" _Lead_ " I scoffed "Look at you sounding all detective-y about this"

"Don't change the subject Rose" he narrowed his eyes at me, wow; he knew way too well, either that or I'm just too predictable.

"I really, _really_ don't want to involve my mom, just not yet"

He dropped the subject after that and it didn't seem to come up after that. Together we came up with several angles to find out more, some of the information was harder to get than what I could remember so we had to some sneaking around to get the location where I was held. Since we had no actual suspects, huh look at me sounding so police like, we couldn't do much. The only thing we had connecting to a person was the name Ibrahim.

There was one thing I hadn't told Dimitri about yet, which was the note that he left for me in the hospital. Oh, what did it say? I rummaged through my brain to think about it.

Oh yeah

" _Tell anyone about me and you and your Dragomir friend is dead"_

The same sentence pounded in my head all day, up to the point where I was sitting in front of my desk re thinking about the same sentence. Lissa was having some private time with Christian so I had some time with myself. I was internally praying that they weren't planning on having sex because that much of emotion always pulls me in through the bond. When I went to check on Lissa, I felt more concern that the usual lovey-dovey feelings that appeared when she was with Christian so I decided to check in.

"There's just something that she isn't telling me Christian. I can _feel_ it" Lissa said in the church attic, her hands intertwined with her boyfriends.

"Maybe you're just worrying too much" he said laying his head back on to the floor

"You should see the stuff she's doing though, I don't think she's ever held a secret from me" Lissa ranted "She's always confided about me with this and the fact that she doesn't think I can handle it makes me seem useless to her!"

"I don't think she means it in that way, honey, she's more concerned about your feeling compared to her" he answered back "You should just give her some space about this and maybe she'll come back to you"

 _Yes, LISTEN to him!_ I screamed through my thoughts, if Christian convinced her to drop this then I will love him forever. I could feel Lissa contemplating about this for a while, too long for me to stay lingering in her presence so I pulled myself out and focused on my own work.

Okay Rose focus on this note

What did it mean?

I started to write down a list of things it meant.

First of all it meant he knew clearly who I was up to the point where he knew that Lissa is my friend. Second, it showed that he knew what hospital I was staying in, which was absurd unless he had some people inside. I mean the person who took me was way different to him, so he had at least one other person. If he does then I will have to be extra careful about what I'm doing, I will not let Lissa get hurt in the process of my blind curiosity, I just won't.

What else?

If he knew about Lissa, that meant that it wasn't a random attack, I was definitely a target for him, one where he would have had to have known where I was prior to being taken and that meant… he knew about the plane stopping at that human airport.

Shit.

Was he the one who manipulated the plane so we would stop at the airport?

I threw my head back and unconsciously let out a laugh, HOW could I have not seen this before? Unravelling it all through my head it became evident that the plane was a major part of it, that plane stopping was the route of all this. That would also mean that he had enough power to convince somebody that they needed to bring the plane down.

I completed a list of everything I knew about him.

Knows about my friendship with Lissa

Has at least one other person working for him

Paid these people? Wealthy?

Knows someone called Ibrahim

Who the fuck is Ibrahim

PLANE REPORT

How on earth was I meant to get hold of a report like this?

I don't even think Dimitri had connections like that, I was going to need someone higher up.

Someone like

Janine Hathaway

* * *

 **A/N: Urgh, the inevitable in this story happened, she is turning to her mom, i didn't want this to happen but it kind of fell into place**

 **Hope you enjoy it though**

 **Read and Review xxx**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 – Mother knows best

I totally knew how wrong it was to hide all of this from Dimitri especially considering how much he has gone out to help me figure this out. I honestly don't know what would be worse: his reaction to me hiding this or my mother's reaction when she finds out I've been lying to her all this time.

I immediately checked my emails as soon as I woke up and saw one new message from my mom; one email was a good thing, as it meant she was visiting. I would only be worried if she sent multiple emails because that would be her way of trying to make up for me.

 _Rose,_

 _I have managed to get a holiday for this weekend to come and see you, I hope we can catch up and you can fill me in on everything that has been going on at your school. If I can't make it I will let you know as soon as I can._

 _Mom_

Damn, this weekend, that's tomorrow, I wasn't expecting her to come so soon. I so needed to prepare what to say to her. Truthfully, how do you come up with a speech that starts with 'I've been lying to you this whole time and now I want you to sneak in and get me something that will probably lead you to committing homicide'.

I sighed and started to write an email to Dimitri then immediately deleted it after I had realised I had nothing to say to him.

"Rose, you left your clothes in the dryer" Lissa came walking in with a bag full of clothes, chucking it at my unmade bed "Make your bed as well please"

"Thanks and I won't" I said cheekily, quickly shutting down my computer and throwing myself on my bed "Janine's coming tomorrow by the way"

"I'm surprised she didn't come sooner" Lissa wondered "Have you got anything planned for the visit?"

"No, I was thinking maybe just hanging out somewhere and talk, it's probably all she wants to do, considering she hasn't had an actual conversation with me for more than four years" I nervously laughed at the thought of her not shouting at me

"Alright, well I'll skedaddle; I got a thing planned with Christian anyway, so you can always come here" she was now folding her clothes and putting it in her draws

"Yeah that'll be gr- Did you just say 'skedaddle'?" I interrupted myself to the realisation to what she just said

"What's wrong with the word?!" she exclaimed trying to defend herself

"Nothing" I chuckled and then mumbled "If you're a sixty year old"

"Very funny Rose" she said sarcastically "You might want to clean up if your mom's coming up here by the way, I have got a study group to go to" She went to tap the top of my set of draws and started speaking slowly to me "These are called draws, you fold your clothes and put them in here so you make the room _neater_ "

"Goodbye Lissa" I threw a pillow at her as she headed out the door giggling.

I spent a couple of hours procrastinating before I actually got to cleaning the room but once I was done it was somewhat clean, well clean enough for me.

* * *

 ****Next day ****

* * *

I waited at the front reception of the school for my mother to arrive, she didn't exactly give me a time to when she would come but she had to be here soon. Every time someone came walking through the door my head peeked out in excitement, I wasn't entirely sure _why_ I was so excited and nervous to see my mom, but I guess in a way I missed her. I was starting to drift off in the palm of my hand leaning on the arm rest until someone shook my shoulder lightly.

"Rose, are you sleeping?" the voice questioned with a mixture of annoyance and concern

"Nope, I'm just resting my eyes" I looked up at my mother with a smile and then shrugged "I've been waiting a while, I got tired"

"Sorry, I know I'm a little bit late" her voice was now a little bit apologetic "Where do you want to go?"

"Come on, follow me" I said, leading her up to my room, she was slightly confused at the fact we were going up the Moroi dorms but she never questioned anything until we reached the room. Sitting on Lissa's bed, I watched as she paced around my room, looking at my books, clothes, and even my homework.

"You stay here with Lissa?" she asked me after she had finished an inspection

"Yeah, Dr. Olendzki thought it was a good idea from the post traumatic symptoms. And it really did help so they kind of made it a permanent situation" I explained to her

"What kind of symptoms?" she asked with anxiety, sitting on my bed

"Nightmares, mostly, I kept getting panic attacks a lot but they haven't occurred in a while. It took me a while to get back into training but I did eventually. Lissa's helped a lot with that and Dim- Guardian Belikov with the training" I threw my hands in the air "Hell, I've even been going to therapy"

"I'm glad that they're there for you" she said with a small smile "I wish I could"

"It's fine, you have to work as well, I know that" I said, the guilt was starting to seep on to her face "I actually wanted to ask you a couple of questions about… some things"

"Why?" her face changed from guilty to suspicious

"It meant to help with my recovery" I lied smoothly "I want to know about how you found me and where it was"

"Oh, well" she was flipping through the magazine I left on my bed, her eyebrows raising at the moustaches that I drew on the models. Something Lissa didn't appreciate much but I only did it on the magazines that she was finished with "We got a call from a contact and I did a little research and then as soon as I found what kind of place it was, I took a look and we set up a raid not soon after"

"How long?" I asked bluntly as soon as she was finished, all she responded with was a confused look "How long had you known before you did the raid?"

"I'm not sure; it took a while to get the source of the information, which we didn't get. It had to go through a protocol to make sure it was an authentic tip" she clarified, she seemed to be avoiding my question

"That wasn't the answer I was looking for" I (attempted to) raise my eyebrows.

"I knew for about" she thought for a second "three weeks at the least"

"Three weeks?!" I nearly fell off the bed "It took you three weeks to react on a massive tip like that?"

"Calm down, Rose" she said "It's not that simple, it a process-"

"A process!" I cut her off angrily "That's so fucking stupid, do you know how much I went through in three weeks? I could've died in that time for all you know" she flinched at the words I was spewing at her "What about before you knew?! How long was that tip just rummaging around, a month? A year?"

"If every tip that came in about you was taken into immediate action, we would've been so much later" her hand went to rub her temples "That's what happened in the beginning, I was running around in circles till I was going crazy"

Okay, fine, she had a point, but I like to think I still had a reason to be angry at her. It took a few deep breathes and a couple of minutes walking around the room to calm myself down but eventually I did.

"Sorry" I mumbled "I didn't mean to shout at you"

"That's okay, you have every right to be angry" she said an understanding voice

"How did they know?" I laid my head down on Lissa's pillow

"I'm guessing the tip originally from-" she started to explain

"No, no, not that. I mean the airport, how did he know I was going to be there?" After I asked that she started to catch on to my train of though

"You think it's something to do with the plane" she finally caught on

"I need to know mom" I went to sit next to her on my bed and my voice started to break "He might come back for me, or worse, Lissa"

She looked at my eyes for a while before pulling me into a hug.

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 **A/N: I've been putting off writing this for a while but I finally got to it and am uploading!**

 **Thank you for the wonderful reviews from you guys, they are so motivating you have no idea.**

 **I probably could've added more to this chapter but I'm going to leave the rest of it to the next chapter when I come around to writing it soon enough.**

 **Enjoy!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hmm… I didn't get a lot of reviews from the last chapter. I am sorry for delaying this for a while; I honestly thought the summer holidays would mean I would be less lazy with my writing but apparently not :(. I do love the comments that I am getting on this story so please keep them up. Remember: More reviews = quicker upload ;)**

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Chapter 16 – Purging the truth is the only way to let go

"Rose" my mother's voice was barely a whisper "Are you telling me that you remember what happened while you were down there?"

"It's not that simp-" I started to lie then bit down on my tongue to reconsider what I'm about to tell her "Yes, I remember everything" She just froze in response, her eyes fixated on my shameful face, studying it as if I should've felt _more_ guilty for what I had hidden from her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked after a long while, her hands reaching out to hold mine

"I was so scared" I began to sob; she put her head at the back of my head and brought me to cry on her shoulder. This was probably the most motherly I've ever seen her but god I needed it. I didn't realise how much I needed to just _cry_ for the sake of it, for everything that's happened to me.

"It's okay, honey, I understand" she said soothingly in my ear, her hand running through my hair as I poured my life out into her shoulder

"I've got your shirt wet" I croaked, leaning up and staring at my tear stains – and even my snot stains ugh. I attempted to wipe them off with my hand and all she did was laugh half heartedly.

"Rosemarie, look at me" she put a finger under my chin to lift my head to look at her evenly, she wasn't treating me in a condescending manner, she was talking to me like I was an equal "I don't know what you went through, lord, I can't even imagine to begin what it was like-" her voice broke, the first time I had ever heard that sound "And you're so strong, stronger than anyone else I know for pushing through this and that's saying a lot, but nobody – not even the toughest person on earth – can go through something like finding their captor on their own. Maybe if I wasn't so pushy at the hospital or a better mother in general then you would've felt like that you would have trusted me with this information earlier. But either way, Rosemarie, I want you to be able to tell me _anything_ without you worrying about how I would react or if I'm going to report it to my superiors. I love you more than anything in the whole world"

I knew that Janine Hathaway was never one for speeches or long talks like that, but when she gave them she made them count.

"I love you too, mom" I curled into her and for the first time in a long time, I remembered what true safety felt like.

After that, I told her everything I knew about this guy and that included the note that he left in the hospital (something that I hadn't shared with _anyone_ ), his threat towards Lissa, and the research that I've been doing with Dimitri. Hell, I even told her about the name Ibrahim.

"Ibrahim?" she gasped slightly at the name

"Yeah" I jumped at her reaction "Why? Do you know it?"

"Calm down Rose, this name might not mean anything" she assured me, we were now walking across the school talking about this, walking to meet Dimitri for my lessons, yes Alberta has got me doing the odd weekend training if I missed even one session during the week, it sucked and took the fun out of weekends but I understood where she was coming from. We had left the room because I desperately needed some air for when I was telling her about it. Surprisingly, she absorbed it in quite calmly; I fear she might take out her anger on a punching bag or even somebody.

"But it could mean something, mom, you have to tell me what it means. Don't lie to me, I don't deserve it, not after what I've been through" I shouldn't have played that card but she knew how to keep secrets and I wasn't up for playing her games. She sighed and turned the corner with me to the training room when she silenced herself in the presence of Dimitri.

"Guardian Belikov" she nodded her head in respect, probably not talking because she didn't feel he was trustworthy enough to talk about this in front of him "Is it okay for me to sit in for Rosemarie's training today?" she asked politely. I nearly face palmed at the use of my full name but instead I let out a little huff of disagreement.

"That's perfectly fine, is Rose is okay with it" he said in the same respectful tone, his 'official' guardian voice, I'm guessing. My mom looked at me like I actually had a say in this, but we both knew she was staying whether I liked it or not.

"Yeah, it's fine with me" I reached into my pockets to pull out my gloves and set my gym bag down on the side, next to the bench my mother was now sitting on. Her stance suggested she seemed almost out of place there.

Dimitri and I did our basic combat training, something that we were working on the last session but he also gave me a chance to show off a little bit to my mother about what I learnt. My reaction to getting hit at was getting a lot better, the flinching actually never happened anymore, which was something I was very glad at during class time because the last thing I needed was people thinking I was incapable.

We finished the lesson a bit early mainly because Dimitri had a guarding shift at the front of the school in an hour or so.

"Okay, we're done for the day" Dimitri said panting for air, he went to go for his bottle at the other side of the room while I split to go to my mother; she smiled at me once I reached her. She got up and let me sit down for a minute to rest after the workout and went to talk to Dimitri for a little while, knowing that I could hear every word of the conversation.

"How's her progress?" she asked enquiringly

"It's good, she's progressing at a good rate but it will still take a while to be able to be at the level she should be at her age. But everyone's pretty optimistic about it" he described "I think if we keep up what we're doing then now it'll be good for her"

"Thank you for doing this" she said "Volunteering to teach a junior if probably the last thing that you wanted to do in your time here" that made him chuckle.

"I don't mind it that much, plus if she's going to be the Princess Dragomir's guardian, I think it will be good to get all the training that she can" he shrugged it off, my mom opened her mouth to say something but hesitated a little and decided to say nothing instead

"Mom" I glared at her a little bit at her silence and decided to change the subject "Do you want to go grab something to eat?"

"Sure" she said out of relief and walked outside with me.

We went to go sit in that little section that Dimitri first brought me at my biggest anxiety attack. It was now my favourite place and I came here so often that no guardian thought it was weird, either that or I was getting special treatment. Probably the latter.

"So" I started the conversation "What does the name mean?"

"Hmm?" she asked in the middle of eating her sandwich, I groaned in frustration.

"God, it can't be that bad, just tell me who Ibrahim is" I said, saying the last phrase slower for emphasis. She pushed her plate away and exhaled a deep breath before saying the next couple of words to me.

"Ibrahim is your father"

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 **Hope this chapter met your expectations ;)**

 **Read and Review xx**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Overreacting much?  


"You can't be serious" I blurted out before I could stop it. How are you supposed to react to something like that? I could feel my heart trying to jump out of my chest in a panic.

"It's true, Rose" Her eyes wouldn't meet mine, they stayed shamefully onto her plate, I'm guessing that she never expected me to find out, especially like this.

"So what you're saying is that my _kidnapping_ and _torture_ was because of my DAD?!" I stood up in fury emphasising on the words so that they could hurt her more, this was getting unreal and god I was hoping that this was a dream; I even started to pinch my arm to wake myself up in case this was.

"Lower your voice" my mom scolded, searching around the room to see if anyone was looking at my little tantrum; no one was. Of course she would care more about her reputation rather than my well being, typical Janine.

"Oh Jesus, you can't spring something like that on me and then not expect to react like this!" I cried out pulling my chair out so that I could walk away, my mom grabbed my shoulder before I got too far and turned me around.

"No Rose, this is overreacting, don't me so dramatic" I rolled my eyes "Don't give me that attitude, young lady, I'm still your mother"

"I wish you weren't" I spat out before bolting off to my room and sulk on my bed.

What I said to her was harsh and I knew that I should've gone back and at least try to take it back but she could have at least make an effort to come to me. But now, three hours had past and I was lying on my stomach, burying my face into my pillow. How did she let it get this far? I assumed my conception was a drunken one night stand and she had just not known his name but the fact that she did and then decided to hide it from me for seventeen years was starting to cause another flush of boiling rage to start brewing in the pit of my stomach.

After a while, I heard the door shut and expected it to be my mother but it was Lissa, carrying, yet another, batch of magazines she had gotten from a couple of her friends, I wouldn't be surprised if she just went out herself in the middle of the night to get them herself. She immediately came by my side and started to comfort me without having to say or know anything that happened. That's what I loved about her. Plus it was my mom, so she probably saw this coming.

"What's wrong, honey?" she asked after a couple of minutes of soothing, I swear she was more of a mother to me than me actual mother.

"My mother is what's wrong" I simply said – my voice muffled by the pillow

"I thought so, I saw her earlier and she looked a little down. I asked her where you were and she just told me you were up here" she spoke, stroking calming circles on my back.

"What else did she say?" I inquired, now lifting my head to talk to her properly.

"Not too much, she told me you had an argument and you needed time to calm down and that you came here to do so" I scoffed loudly and Lissa glared at me slightly

"Of course she thinks that I'm in the wrong for reacting like I did" I sighed and started to tell Lissa everything about the name I remembered in my dream and what my mother told me about it. She listened quietly while I told her the rest of it minus the inclusion of her name in the note in case she freaked out, I'm guessing over the last time I told her something she practised to not start crying and just listen to me. Like a best friend should. It was a much shorter speech than what I told my mother, mostly because she was there for the majority of it.

"Oh my God, that's horrible" she choked out and put a hand on her mouth as if to take it back "I'm so sorry, Rose, I can't imagine how you're feeling right now"

"You sound like you've been taking grief lessons" I chortled but then stopped once I saw the look on her face "Wait, seriously?"

"Well, not like that but Christian's been helping me with all this stuff" she admitted "I want to be there for you and I can't if I'm too caught up in myself to not cry while you're telling it all to me. But I also think that you should go and have a proper talk with your mom about how you feel, I'm told that it's healthy to do that"

"You should consider becoming a therapist" I pondered "You have that soothing tone that's needed in a job like that"

"Don't change the subject" she snapped and I put my hands up in surrender "Now go find your mother" her hand was pointed to the door, she was throwing me out. Groaning, I dragged myself off my bed and went ahead to go find her.

I tried finding her at the spot where I shouted at her but she wasn't there. I had to sneak around Stan to get to there and I wasn't sticking around in case he saw me and told me off. Though many guardians were cool with me around these areas, some didn't believe in special treatment just because they have had it hard. In a way, I respected them for believing that but other time it was just fucking annoying.

The second person I was trying to find was Dimitri, thinking that they would get together and start talking about this whole situation. I mean, it was about time.

I managed to find Dimitri guarding around the edge of the school, the space that wasn't technically cut off by students but it was way too close to the border of the school.

"Hey" I hissed through the bars of the fence, my head poking through "Dimitri" His head whipped around with the speed of light and he rolled his eyes when he saw me "That was rude" I muttered

"You're out of school bounds, Rose" he sighed at me

"Technically" I took another step forward, my feet peeking through the fence "This is out of bounds, there's no rule saying I can't be right here" I stepped back to my original spot

"I'm working right now Rose, what is it?" he used the same sigh again and I mocked the sigh back at him "That's not very polite either"

"Have you seen my mother?" I asked, leaning my head against one of the bars my hand was wrapped around "I assumed she wanted to talk to you… about everything"

"I haven't seen her in a while, you should try the track" he suggested "If she's anything like you she'll take out her frustration in her training" he remarked with a small smirk

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I apparently act like her, I've been told before" I shrugged it off

"You're a carbon copy of her, practically the same person if you had the same looks"

"Guess I get that off good ole Ibrahim" I muttered

"Who?" he raised an eyebrow, stepping closer towards me, away from his post

"Wow, I have a lot to explain to you" I said "But for now, I have to find my mother and then I promise I will tell you the rest"

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 **A/N: I'm so sorry I've been really tired out these past couple of days, I managed to extend the chapter a little more but I could barely keep my eyes open to write any more. How do you think the talk with her mother is going to go? And now that Lissa goes? It's going to be like the freakin' Scooby doo gang with how it's turning out right now.  
**

Loving the reviews, you have no idea how much they are keeping me going at the moment.

Xxx


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Apologies for the late upload – full a/n at the bottom**

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 **Chapter 18 - The truth is what it is  
**

I spent the past hour looking for my mom, well, I say 'looking' I did get distracted a few times on the way to the track. I bumped into Eddie and Mason who then invited me to come eat and I may or may not have stayed for most of the time. It may have taken up a lot of the time in the hour I was supposed to be looking for her. Yet, I still didn't have the time or the heart to fill in Dimitri about all this stuff, probably selfish of me but I'm not even sure if it's my place to tell him about the father thing.

Ew I hate that word now.

I'm so not going to call him father, he's done nothing for me. Apart from providing the sperm that made me exist in the first place of course. But other than that, he's never been there for me, not even in the same way my mother was, I was always severely pissed at her for not being there for me. Did this guy even know that I was missing? That his only daughter was kidnapped for two whole years on account of him?

I rounded the corner that held the gardens, something my old teacher Ms Karp used to love to take care of before she went crazy. It was fairly closed off to the students but it wasn't impossible to get into it if you knew where the entrance was. I hopped over the side back fence that cornered the roses; it hurt like a bitch if you ever fell into them.

There was this one time my mother told me she loved to stare out into the nature when she wanted to think and automatically my mind when to the only natural place in this concrete based prison. Surely enough I rounded the corner and saw the top of my mother – her red her was something you just couldn't miss.

"Mom?" I approached hesitantly; she seemed really deep in thought. If I didn't imagine it, she was sniffling slightly as if she was… crying? She was a guardian so she knew that I was in the same place as her "Are you okay?"

"Did you fall into the rose bushes?" she asked, her voice cracking a tiny bit at the start of her question, I knew she was trying to make a joke, she used to do that when I was younger and she was upset about, usually about, one of her assignments.

"No, not really" I replied, feeling the atmosphere of awkwardness building up. "Are you okay?" I repeated in hopes she would actually answer me this time.

"I should've told you a long time ago" she finally turned around and I saw the bloodshot eyes from her crying "I thought it was best if I didn't tell you. If I had any idea that he had anything to do with what happened to you then I swear I would have never have kept it to you. You were right, Rose, I am a terrible mother to you and no matter how hard I try not to be I always manage to make you upset" Tears started roaming down her face, I was shocked to find her crying so freely in front of me, she always tried so hard to look so strong.

"Hey, hey, hey" I reached out to her "I shouldn't have said that. I know that you are trying and I appreciate that. It's just" I shook my head "It scares me that all of this happened to me because of my" gulp "father"

She pulled me into a hug and patted my head, it was weirder than when we were sitting down considering she was nearly four inches shorter than me.

"It scares me too" she whispered finally

"What do we do next?"

"We're going to have to find your father"

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 **A/N: I'm SO, SO SORRY for not uploading in such a long time, I'm a horrible person – it has been established officially. And this is a filler chapter too I'm SORRY**

 **So much has happened since I last uploaded; I have so much school and work and stuff urgghh. I'm ill at the moment and I weirdly have the motivation to write this out of all days.**

 **I'm putting off my Performing Arts coursework to write this, that's how much I wanted to get this uploaded today**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: This week has been a lot busier than I anticipated, huh, but here is another chapter *throws confetti***

 **I am a horrible updater for this story wow. I think it might just be a once/twice a month thing because I am trying to lengthen the chapters a lot more.**

 **I probably won't do any flashbacks that are too graphic, for that reviewer who suggested, because I am pretty uncomfortable with it most of the time, when I have done it in the past it's because I have been trying to push my boundaries as a writer which didn't work as well as I thought it would. So for now I won't do them but that doesn't mean I won't in the future ;)**

 **Dimitri is a little OOC in this by the way, not in a bad way just in a way you might not be used to.**

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Chapter 19: Well, it was time to do so anyway

As much as I hated to say goodbye to my mother, I had to, though she promised to be back in a few days she just had to go to Court to sort out a few things, a side of me highly suspecting it had to do something with her promise to find and get in contact with the guy I'm supposed to call my father. Which sucked for me because I really wanted her here, but in reality what good was it going to do if she couldn't have access to her contacts?

My schedule just became repetitive after that, same as before; it meant morning and evening training with Dimitri. Something that I had been trying to avoid since I hadn't given him the missing pieces of the puzzle that I so promised to keep him in the loop for, the one that I bugged him for days on end for.

Standing at the edge of the doorway, I slipped my head through to see if he was there and smiled widely as soon as I saw his large figure making its way over to me, a smile which soon faltered when I saw his facial expression. A mixture of anger, annoyance, all emotions that he miserably failed to hide behind his usual guardian façade.

"Hey comrade" I said nonchalantly, as if nothing was wrong, and stalking my way to the mat in its usual place in the middle. Honestly, I surprised it isn't etched to the floor by the many times I have never seen it been moved.

"Just a 'hey comrade" he laughed humourlessly "I thought you said you would tell me everything that was going on, Rose, you promised"

God, he sounded like a little kid.

"I know and I was planning to keep my promise" I crossed my arms across my chest and frowned at him "I just haven't had the time to fill you in, I've had other… obligations"

"Yes other obligations like finding the father you found out was the mysterious 'Ibrahim', yes I know" he suddenly changed moods, if there was one thing that I would say I didn't like about Dimitri, it was ability to be angry one second and then pass it off as it was nothing the next. I was never completely sure if that was something he learnt as a guardian or a character trait he had since he was little.

Wait, what?

What did he say?

"What did you say?" I repeated out loud this time, did he just say my father?

"Yeah, I know" he said with a forced smile "Had to hear it from your mother though, not you, like you promised"

"Dimitri-" I started

"No" he put his hand up to cut me off "Let's just focus on your training that is all I am here to help you do anyway, nothing more and nothing less"

I complied reluctantly and we spent the rest of the session in an awkward silence and every single second that went past a little bit inside of me broke again, I so wanted to assure him that it was nothing but I knew what I did wrong, I basically used him when I had no other supply of information and chucked him away to the sidelines because he was no longer useful to me. That was a seriously shitty thing to do to him and he deserved so much better than a complaining teenager who did nothing by annoy him

"Are you listening to me?" Dimitri interrupted my thoughts and pulled me back into reality "You need more tension in your waist or you won't get the strength you need for the hit"

"What?" I asked, completely oblivious to what was going on, he sighed in frustration.

"Here" he moved around the punching blocks and stood behind me, I so nearly flinched when his hands met my waist but I didn't and god did his touch feel nice against my body. I pushed back those thoughts for later when I was not freaking two inches away from him and actually attempted to focus on the lesson he was teaching me.

"Mmm" I mumbled in agreement to whatever he directing me to do and followed to what he was saying.

"Rose" he said in a scolding tone, as if I was a child.

"Don't say 'Rose' like that" I mocked his accent in a poor attempt and used quote marks around my name, I saw him resist to rolling his eyes right there and then. "I know you're mad at me but there's no reason to start treating me like this"

"Like how?" his voice was surprisingly calm, even for some as 'zen' as Dimitri

"Like I'm a little kid, I prefer when you treated me like and equal" I huffed, crossing my arms, contradicting myself by actually acting childish.

"That works both ways, Rose" Dimitri sighed and I felt my heart drop with guilt for the second time now, god, there's very few people who can have that effect on me.

"I'm sorry, okay!" I exclaimed raising my hands in the air "How many times do you have to make me say it?"

"You haven't actually said it before right now" he commented, almost as a murmur

"Well then I'm sorry" I aimed to follow that with a snarky comment but it came out heartfelt and I actually meant it, I _was_ sorry that I was a dick to him. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you everything even though I promised, because to be completely honest, I just don't trust anyone, especially after finding out about my father, I mean a person that's supposed to keep you safe from when your born indirectly throws you headfirst into the deep end, I just-" I took a breath "That's not what a father is meant to do and I know I don't know him that well, but no one understands this hate I already have for him"

"I understand Roza" Dimitri said in a low voice, reaching out to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear

"You have a shitty father too?"

"Yeah, I do actually, he used to beat my mom up every time he came around to get his way with her up until I was 13" he said bluntly, as if he was trying to emotionally distant himself from the sentence along, I audibly gasped at the mere sentence

"What happened when you were 13…?" I trailed off

"I hit him back" he simply stated

Wow. How was I meant to respond to that?

"Okay, you win the award for the shittiest father, hands down" I raised my hands in surrender and his facial features softened, just a little but that was enough. "I mean it when I say I'm sorry though, Dimitri, you've done nothing but be nice to me and listen to me when I need you to and I haven't appreciated that kindness like I'm supposed to"

"I understand the hesitance to trust people, Roza" he said, again with the Roza, god that's going to be the death of me "But I thought you did trust me"

"I do, kind of" I sighed "I don't know. I'm very contradictory if you haven't noticed yet" he laughed at that statement.

"I think we should finish this session with a lap or two outside" he suggested

"Whatever you say comrade" I saluted before heading out towards the back doors to the field.

-x-

I threw down my gym bag in my room, momentarily considering if I should put it in the laundry or let it stink in the room, I decided on the latter and decided to take a shower. When I got back, I pulled up my laptop and procrastinated on some homework and all of a sudden my phone buzzed from the bedside cabinet.

The caller ID read: Mom, I picked it up immediately.

"So did you find out anything" I said without hesitation

"Hello to you to" she said sarcastically on the other end of the phone, I could just imagine the eye roll she was doing right about now "And yes actually that's why I was calling you"

"Well, what did you find?"

"It took a while, there wasn't any computerised data on what I wanted to find so I had to go through the paper files, which is really long, I couldn't find much on your airplane theory" My heart sank "At first I didn't give it a second thought but it was like this flight didn't even happen, nothing from that day was on there" her voice lowered a bit "I think someone scrapped out the file completely, getting rid of evidence I presume, but I'm not a hundred percent certain on that presumption"

"The court documents _everything._ They're pretty big on their paperwork" I commented, biting down on my nails

"That's what I was thinking and I'm not entirely sure on who to ask without bringing up attention to myself, I know some people who owe me favours but they're not high up enough to get us what we want" she sighed "That's a dead end"

"Okay, but what about the other… thing?" I asked, talking about my father

"Ah that, well, I did manage to contact him and well I am going to stay in Court a little longer because of that"

"Why? What happened?"

"He's coming down to Court and meeting me here and then we're coming down to you or you to us, at this point I don't think it matters very much" she paused with caution "I know this is definitely not the kind of circumstances you want to meet your father in but he's our only hope"

"I know" I let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding in for so long "I know this is what I wanted, what we need to find out more"

"Hopefully we will"

"Hopefully" I repeated her

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 **A/N: Thank you for those who have stuck with me and my iffy updating for this story, I am being cheeky and trying to lengthen this story as much as possible but don't worry I won't try to side track from the main storyline too much.  
**

 **I'm mostly focusing on my other VA fanfiction (Life is a Rollarcoaster) and one of my TMI ones (Love always, Clary) which is why I haven't been so focused on this one.**

 **Was waiting an extra week and a half worth it for a chapter twice as long as normal?**

 **I am trying to challenge myself as a writer right now so tell me what you think, is it too much waffling or not enough description?**

 **Read and review xx**

 **[sorry for the annoying author notes, just be glad i haven't put it as a separate update]**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: 100 reviews and 110 followers! Thank you so much guys, it's really encouraging. You guys seemed to prefer the longer chapters so I'm going to stick to that. I am very bad at doing disclaimers, so I'm gonna do one for this chapter.**

 **You know, for someone who prefers all human VA Fanfiction, I sure write a lot of vamp ones.**

 _*Disclaimer: All content except the plot belongs to Richelle Mead*_

* * *

 **Chapter 20: First encounters are coming**

It felt like I was waiting for days and days for my mother to contact me again, I feared every time I left the room without my phone purely because I thought I would miss a call from her. Boy, did Alto get pissed when my phone went off in the middle of his lecture about tardiness, that was the day I learnt to keep it on vibrate from then on out. But alas every time it did ring and it wasn't my mother I was left drowning in my own feeling of disappointment and fear. I guess the fear came from the overthinking this whole situation.

The after school session with Dimitri was dreading on, because apparently three hours weren't over doing it, especially after two hours in the morning and a whole eight hours of school lessons. So after a few hits I laid on the floor waiting for the world to swallow me up whole. Dramatic, I know.

"Rose" I could hear the sternness in his voice which prompted a grin on my behalf, eyes facing the ceiling "Get up"

"I kind of like it down here" I shrugged nonchalantly, Lord, if this was any other teacher I would totally be kicked out right now. I patted the side of the mat next to me "Join me"

"What's wrong Rose?" I felt his weight shift to sit down next to me "You always try really hard in these sessions, you've never slacked once"

"I hate waiting" I groaned and everything after that just blurted out "I've been waiting ages for my mom to call me back but she hasn't, I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Has she found my father? Does he not want to see me?" I stand up to look him dead in the eyes "What if I'm not what he wanted? Or what he expected? How can I live up to my invisible father's expectations? Not just that though, what if he's not what I expect and he's just some lame loser who doesn't even care about me?"

Those were so irrelevant to what I was thinking right now but they were the questions swarming in my head. I really hadn't given much thought on this father subject, just the potentially getting kidnapped again and possibly get my best friend killed. Somehow that seems to take priority in my head.

"I'm over thinking this, aren't I?" I sighed and buried my face in my hands.

"Just a bit" I could hear the tinge of sarcasm laced in his voice "It'll go better than you think"

"How do you know? What if he _hates_ me?"

"Anyone should be proud to call you their daughter and if they don't then they're missing out on a lot" he said with sincerity

"You think?" I smiled gently at him and he just nodded. I jumped and wrapped my arms around him, touched by the statement, and felt him stiffen under me.

"And you said I'll never catch you off guard" I teased, my mouth in close proximity to his ear and suddenly he relaxed just slightly with a small chuckle

"Well you certainly did a good job doing so" his face turned so that he was looking at me, I glanced down at his lips for a split second and back into his eyes. He cleared his throat and moved away from me. Damn it, Rose, you missed your chance.

"I think that concludes today's session" he cleared his throat awkwardly, again.

"Right. Yes. Sure" I stumbled slightly over my words, unable to say anything more than monosyllabic words. I did an even worse job reaching to get my bag, nearly tripping over my feet just to get there.

"Oh, fuck" I cursed as I jabbed my toe in the corner of a bench and grabbed my foot as the pain started to spread, jumping around the empty room like an idiot, it hurt like a motherfuc-

And then suddenly, my phone rang.

I checked the caller ID before doing so and the call I was waiting for had finally arrive, my mother's name lit up across the phone screen. But the funny thing was, for the first time in a long time I was hesitant in picking it up, what happened to all that desperation that I had not that long ago, I was now worrying and overthinking every small step, this was unlike me.

"Hi" I answered feebly into the phone, a large part of me wishing I had now rejected the call, would I be prepared to what would happen and would it change anything?

"I have set up a meeting but I was only able to get it done in Court, which might prove to be difficult" her voice strained slightly nearer to the end of the sentence

"How so?"

My mother was never the one for small talk, she got straight to the point.

"Because the less people who know about this, the better. And if we have you randomly flown out to Court then it might look a little bit suspicious to people, but I'm not entirely certain on what else to do" she admitted and I sucked in my breath suddenly "What?"

"I think… I think I have an idea. I'm going to have to get back to you though" and hung up the phone.

What I needed now was a royal moroi was crazed about shopping, enough to get me into Court for a special shopping trip. I think Lissa is now going to be a part of this team.

* * *

"Shopping, really?" she practically squealed into my ears and jumped around the room with happiness

"As a cover, yes" I got up and placed my hands firmly on her shoulders so that she would stop jumping up and down which was starting to give me a headache. "Lissa, this is serious, I need to meet my father but I really need this shopping trip to happen which means that you are going to have to convince Kirova that you _really_ need to shop with _me_ " She nodded her head in response

"I have just the plan" Lissa said seriously, "I am in fact very good with fake tears and" her tone started to change "have so much to catch up on with my best friend who went missing" her fake tears started to run down her face "and I really want to spend more time with her"

"Brilliant" I gleamed and hugged her "Thank you so much"

"Any time to use my acting skills, that semester of drama really is paying off now, and you said it was a waste of time" she stuck out her tongue as she pulled me out of the hug

"Okay, okay it wasn't Oscar award winning, calm down" I rolled my eyes "Alright you go do that and I'll go prepare myself for my bit"

"I'll be back in a sec" she ran out the door but before leaving she poked her head through for one last word of advice "He's gonna love you, if he doesn't he has me to face" and she put on a faux angry face which made me double over in laughter.

I love my best friend.

* * *

 **A/N: I feel like a zombie right now. I so much work to do and I've only had time to write in my break at the moment since I don't have work OR school right now. This was so much shorter than I wanted it to but physically I couldn't write any more than this and what I did write was just so shit. Hopefully, I will get out of my funk sooner than later.**

 **I was way too sarcastic in this**

 **Anyway, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of my lovelies *kiss***


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